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I was writing a couple of weeks ago when a new definition of God arose for me.
God: the absence of disapproval.
I used to associate God with the opposite. With judgment and condemnation, and an excuse to oppress and persecute and go to war. Largely for this reason, I imagine, I considered myself agnostic. The God I’d been introduced to didn’t resonate for me.
It was perhaps easier for me than many to change my idea of God, as I didn’t grow up in a very religious environment. I wasn’t convinced of what I should believe. I was able to weigh the information I had with little external pressure and allow for new associations when new information was presented to me.
Many do not have this luxury. They have been indoctrinated since childhood. This is perhaps a form of privilege many do not consider. I feel incredibly fortunate to have had the privilege of little external influence on forming my ideas about spirituality and God.
One of the tricky things about religion is it offers us a package of beliefs. Many people feel the divine love of God, but they do so within the context of a system of beliefs that often confuses and contradicts. And this may largely be because many of these beliefs were designed to induce fear, the “opposite of love.” Why? Perhaps because people are far easier to control when they are afraid.
I realize now that I was mirroring the God I was presented with. I was disapproving of a disapproving God, and largely disapproving of myself, others, and much of life. These neural pathways run deep and they are still running the show in many moments for me.
God is a mirror for man and womankind. Our beliefs about God reflect our beliefs about ourselves and humanity. For many of us, this means loving at times, but also quite judgmental and vengeful. A far cry from unconditional love. Perhaps this is why the absence of disapproval, and the presence of what remains, appears to be quite rare on our planet.
Over the past few years, I’ve had many experiences and insights that have contradicted the idea of a disapproving God. Of a God that is anything but unconditionally loving, allowing, and in joyous celebration of All That Is. I’ve come to believe that All That Is IS GOD, and that God is unconditionally self-loving. Therefore, All That Is is included in this self-love.
Perhaps the only thing disallowing us from mirroring an unconditionally loving God is our belief that this is not who we are. There appears to be so much evidence to contradict that we are unconditionally loving by nature, but perhaps all of the human acts that appear to contradict this are merely the result of the presence of disapproval.
What does the absence of disapproval feel like? What would it be like to feel zero disapproval for all that we see, think, and do?
Could this perhaps be what it feels like to be God?
I’ve been considering these questions during meditation. Noticing the high frequency of thoughts arising that judge and condemn and shame.
I imagine myself as God, as the absence of disapproval, and watch as fear and judgment melt away.
I become this God.
I become this Christ.
I become Unconditional Love.
A version of this post was originally posted on TroyCohen.Wordpress.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash
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