Use that list to do an honest self-assessment.
How much do you resemble the person you just listed? It doesn’t have to be across the board, but if you have little in common with the imaginary woman you conjured up, you have a problem. Like attracts like. If what really turns your crank is party girls who spend tons of time at the salon and the gym to get themselves looking like porn stars, and you haven’t had a haircut or lifted a weight in recent memory, then you’re facing an uphill battle. If you have a thing for nerdy girls with hearts of gold, but you’re too busy working as a stockbroker to read much fiction, she probably won’t be interested. You can’t fault women for giving you a pass if you’re not what they want, even if they’re very much what you want.
Make the necessary changes.
We’re often attracted to what we wish we were like as well as what we’re already like. Instead of bemoaning this, embrace it. If you like women who spend a lot of time on their bodies or women who keep really nice house, why not hit the gym or pick up the mop yourself? If you want a self-starter or an independent woman, find ways to be more proactive and independent yourself.
Of course, in some situations this isn’t going to work. You may not want to have a certain trait you want in women, because you think it’s demeaning. Or you may not be able to achieve it, as is the case for men who want to date much younger women. In these cases, I advise that you either rethink your desires or accept that you’re likely to have a lonely existence. Not that you have to be identical to women you find attractive, but you’ll do better if you have similar priorities. You can’t expect women to put time and energy into her looks or profession or home or even sense of humor and expect nothing in return from men she dates. Even the guys on Jersey Shore get that, which is why they subject themselves to steroids in exchange for women spending so much on plastic surgery.