If women liked bad boys instead of nice guys they’d be lined up for cool action flicks instead of lined up to watch Tom Hanks in “Sleepless in Seattle.”
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A lot of guys complain that being nice kills off the feminine libido.
But that doesn’t make sense to me because I’m only attracted to nice guys. So are my friends.
And plenty of women are attracted to these nice guys:
Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington, George Clooney, Antonio Banderas, Ryan Gosling…
Okay, they’re all super-hot, which may overcome the downside of being nice?
Yet other Average-Joe’s aren’t movie star gorgeous and I still think they are sexy — and nice:
Economist, Paul Krugman, comedians Stephen Colbert and Seth Myers, astrophysicist and Cosmos host, Neil deGrasse Tyson…
If women liked bad boys instead of nice guys they’d be lined up for badass action flicks instead of lined up to watch Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle.
And, women using Tinder often reject perfectly chiseled faces. Why? The guys are perceived as egotistical and unkind. Guys with softer jaws seem more compassionate. They want nice guys!
Still, plenty of men get turned down with declarations like,
You’re a nice guy, but…
That doesn’t mean he’s unattractive because he’s nice.
In fact, most women are drawn by men who are nice, confident — and who see “her” as irresistible. Plus some undefined je ne sais quoi that varies from woman to woman.
Meanwhile, some guys rage over how horrible women are because they don’t like nice guys — like them.
If you are raging, you are not nice.
Sure, some women are with men who aren’t nice (which leads to “confirmation bias” — we see what we expect to see):
- A few are indeed attracted to bad boys.
- Some are drawn to narcissists because, apparently,narcissists make more of an effort to “look good”.
- Others fall for men who power up the charm offensive only to later reveal their abusiveness. (Many women stay for a variety of reasons, maybe a fear of poverty or a hope that he will return to “Mr. Wonderful.”)
But the widespread belief that women don’t like nice guys can be dangerous, leading to misogyny and ill-treatment of women.
Unfortunately, not everyone we find attractive will find us attractive.
But fortunately, tastes vary.
And most women do like nice guys.
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This article originally appeared on Broadblogs.
Photo credit: Emanuele Faja/flickr
She has a PhD from UCLA and teaches now. She must be what, around 30, and fat. No wonder “nice guys” are sexy for her..
This is the exact reason why as a man I would never ever take advice from women when it comes to dating
Feed her delicious food(as soon as she is able) ask the Lord to tell her she’s beautiful, funny, smart, in a way she can receive it. pray out a rejection spirit(she got from jumpin in bed with a player)spirits will make her rebel against your telling her she’s pretty; and if she’s dangerously down pray out a suicide spirit and “protect her from herself “prayer. God loves her more than you do, and can patch a broken heart faster. you know her well enough to know”i prayed for you” will offend her or not. He is real help when someone’s… Read more »
If only guys realized that women find men physically attractive (you know, the way men are always talking about finding women physically attractive) and not immediately attracted to one’s character (you know, the way men always say they can’t know who a woman is but they know if they are attracted to them or not) this wouldn’t be so hard to understand. It’s like men are going around finding the kindest women in the place – um no, they find the one’s they are attracted to, yet can’t carry this logic over to women, and blame woman for going for… Read more »
Don’t listen to her. What women SAY they want and who they actually go for are two different things. They want the guy that is going to dominate them in bed, defend them, and stand up for himself, with a little bit of cockiness. They want an alpha. This writer didn’t even bother to research what a nice guy really is. For more information read “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Dr Robert A Glover.
I do love a dominant man both in and out of the bedroom and have been lucky enough to meet several and to be with a few. They are leaders, take charge types, confident, secure in themselves, easy going, good sense of humor. They are also kind, caring and compassionate. They aren’t “nice guys” they are nice people.
“If women liked bad boys instead of nice guys they’d be lined up for badass action flicks instead of lined up to watch Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle.” There are bad boys in romance movies. Your logic fails. Also, I like gorgeous women but I don’t line up to watch the plethora of movies with gorgeous women, I watch movies that appeal to me which may or may not have gorgeous women in it. “And, women using Tinder often reject perfectly chiseled faces. Why? The guys are perceived as egotistical and unkind. Guys with softer jaws seem more compassionate.… Read more »
Oh good Christ on a cracker. Humble-bragging to project that (a majority?) of women like nice guys, because you and your friends do and then belying this nice sentiment by the additional projection that nice guys who aren’t chosen by women are likely to then hate women and ill treat them? Look, I know many women are put on pedestals so they believe societal propaganda that men can’t live without them, but it is not at all true and not every man buys into the false advertising. And I am sure that every nice guy will be comforted and encouraged… Read more »
Sorry, not buying it. Sure, there are some women who will be attracted to ‘nice guys’, but in my 60 or so years on this planet, it’s the ‘ hot looking Badass’ who gets the most attention. Funny thing is, if you look close, ‘Hot looking Badasses’ aren’t always handsome in the classic sense. The right amount of facial scruff, a few well placed tattoos, and a ‘Kick Ass’ Harley, it may not turn you on personally (or maybe it will), but trust me, those guys aren’t starved for female attention!