'Not Feeling It' and Other Rejections on First Meets

I had a Starbucks first meet today.*

Woo hoo! Finally, a potential lover who made it past the preliminary hoops. All good, right?

Not so fast.

Great conversation! He looked like his picture. Seemed like a smart and interesting guy. It’s an adultery miracle! LOL.

I also looked like my picture and thought I was rocking it.
No deception.

I sent a “pleasure meeting you” message an hour later, just to be nice and follow up. Manners are essential in cheating (just like in life).

Got the typing message on Kik — the LONG reply.

I looked at my phone, and I knew. I’m getting rejected. No doubt about it. Should I even bother to read it? Do I want to read it? Who am I kidding? OF COURSE, I’LL READ IT and OBSESS OVER EVERY WORD.

Holy hell, how much is he going to say? As I watched the dot, dot, dot symbol wavering.

Maybe ghosting would be less traumatic.

“Well, this isn’t looking good,” I muttered, looking at my phone while taking my dog out.

He was still typing.

I got the “chemistry is fickle” speech. And the “I’m not feeling it” crap. You know the one… more dot dot dots.

Many paragraphs of this shit.
Why the hell is it so long?

Just say, “I enjoyed meeting you, but I’m not feeling it. Good luck out there finding a match!”

I could write that speech word for word for how many times I’ve given it (and received it). It’s the “Thanks but no thanks.” He tried to gently let me down (sweet), and I recognized that, but still!

I was blindsided. I thought our “meet” went well. Well, he did a fine job acting like he was interested. Maybe he second-guessed it afterward. I should be grateful. No ghosting and I got a straight answer.

I know I should be happy. But who is happy with rejection?

That’s his right — his option. It’s part and parcel of this “lifestyle.” It sucks not to be someone’s “type,” yet it happens, and it’s okay.

Time to dust myself off. Start over again. Rejection helps you build a tougher skin for the next coffee date. Maybe I’ll laugh (or write, more likely) about this someday (and I did, see!).

If you want to read about a “successful” Starbucks meet (the birthplace of most affairs), read this one: