Can the Internet stop shaming Kristin Cavallari already?
Kristin Cavallari is catching a bit of heat this week for sharing some pretty candid details of her family plans: After giving birth to three children in the last three years, she and her husband (Chicago Bears star Jay Cutler) are seriously considering a vasectomy.
Well, she is at least.
In an interview with Maria Menounos on March 23, the former reality TV star and celeb mom-of-three said it’s a conversation that she’s currently having with Cutler, and it looks like it’s a decision that she’s personally dead-set on.
“My philosophy is, we have to push the babies out,” said Cavallari, during an airing of Menounos’ SiriusXM radio show, Conversations with Maria Menounos. “We are the ones who have to go through everything, so [Jay] can do one little thing and get snipped.”
She added, “I’ve pushed three babies out the old hoo-ha. I’ve done enough.”
Hey, I’m not going to argue with her there. But unfortunately, much of the (male) Internet already has. Just scroll through some of the comments on a few articles covering the story, and you’ll see what I mean.
Some are actually supportive of the whole thing, wondering aloud what the big deal is. “So? It is a hell of a lot easier for a man to get snipped than a woman get tied,” wrote Greg M. on a Fox Sports comment thread. “Plus, our scars are hidden in the wrinkles.”
But others, like this one, found on a CBS Sports op-ed, are something else entirely: “Lorena Bobbit 2.0. Snip-snip in an antiseptic environment or lose your package to a butter knife at home,” wrote user Knox PC. (Uh … come again?)
“If three is enough for her, then she can have her plumbing taken out,” added another user, GritzBlitz. “No need for Jay to get neutered … he might want to start a second family if KC ever moves on with her brood. Just sayin.’”
And then, there were some comments that were downright nasty. “Why would he do such a thing? She looks like a total bitch,” wrote Don-MLB-FL.
In general, these kinds of comments aren’t all that surprising, though. I mean, it is the Internet. But also, when’s the last time you heard a dude talk openly about getting a vasectomy? Considering all the immature crap they’ll get from their bros, the conversation among men is almost non-existent, compared to us mamas who talk non-stop about all things motherhood.
Yet, we’re parents. We’re all adults here. As personal as the decision may be, it shouldn’t be one that’s shamed or ridiculed.
And I know that all too well — my own husband and I went back and forth over the issue after our second child was born in 2010. Knowing that a third child would break the bank for us (and that I suffered through a few painful kidney stones during both of my pregnancies), we ultimately decided we didn’t want to deal with a.) a surprise pregnancy that would definitely kick our asses, and b.) me having to take birth control pills until menopause. And that’s when we laid out our options on the table.
Let’s be real here; there’s nothing wrong with knowing your limitations and making responsible decisions that effect your family’s future. My husband and I know that we can only afford two kids; we know that we only have enough patience for two kids; and to put it bluntly, we know that a third would maybe throw us off the edge.
And then there’s this: Birth control isn’t a woman’s sole responsibility; so why do we keep acting like it is? It’s about time we stop making the issue of vasectomies a taboo matter, and better yet, it’s time we as women encourage our partners to take an active role too when it comes to family planning.
This article originally appeared on Babble. For more like this from Babble, try: