Sarah Fader has no time for games when it comes to dating.
I have a single friend who is in love with her neighbor. We talk about him often. She tries to think of different ways to approach him and get him to notice her. She wants him to ask her out. To me, this is a weird concept. I’ve never been into traditional gender roles. Whenever I’ve liked a guy in my 34 years, I’ve told him as much.
Usually, this has a poor effect on men. They get all weird and don’t know how to handle an assertive woman. I, on the other hand, don’t have time for games. I find them tiresome and I’m bad at the rules.
My advice to my friend was this: “Ask the guy out for coffee.”
I see no problem with a woman hitting on a man. Society has no problem with the opposite. Men are encouraged to tell women that they’re attractive and ask them out to dinner or drinks or what have you. However, women are told that they mustn’t tell a man that they’re interested in him… Oh no! Don’t do that. You’ll look crazy and desperate. I’m here to tell you that I don’t play by those rules. And you can feel free not to also.
If a guy doesn’t like you because you told him that you like him, perhaps he’s not the sort of person you want to be with after all. If I tell a guy I like him (and I’ve done this historically) and he responds poorly, oh well, his loss.
Women, we do not need to hold back our sexuality or our desire towards the opposite sex. If you want to ask a man out for coffee or drinks or hot f*cking chocolate, I have three words for you: Go for it.
I don’t care that society says it’s wrong. I don’t mind that some guys will think I come on too strong. The right man is not going to care about all that. So ladies, if you like a guy, tell him.
You’ve got nothing to lose.
Photo: Stefano Pirone/Flickr
This essay originally appeared on Sarah Fader’s HuffPost blog.