Now I Know It Was Love at First Sight. I Had It, and I Lost It.

The feeling of love comes to the chosen lucky ones and gives them an almost painful sensation of being alive.

Rough creatures cannot be fit for this emotion. Rejoice at being exquisite, gentle and beautiful. Do you want to know more about it? Let me postpone the explanation for a few delicious moments. Dive deep with me into the freshness of this feeling by reading this short story.

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It was still drizzling outside. I was not even trying to hide. I had nowhere to hurry. I was young and upset. The strange night charmed me, and I was no longer angry at myself for a stupid mistake of missing the train.

I saw a covered bench and noticed the silhouette of the person sitting there. I soon saw it was a boy. Despite the canopy above the bench, his umbrella was open, and it was difficult to see his face. I went to that bench, looked at the boy and asked, “Goodnight. Can I also take refuge? I don’t have an umbrella, and it seems my clothes are starting to get wet.”

The boy raised the umbrella. He had beautiful eyes, made of kindness and silver. His curly hair was wet with rain.

Saying nothing, he moved slightly to the side, making room. I sat down nearby without looking at him. After a moment he told me in a soft, gentle voice, “Do you love rain?”

I felt a mixed sense of surprise and confusion. I did not know what to say to the boy. But it seemed that the answer was not important to him, because after a brief pause he added, “I love it!”

I said, “It’s quite noticeable, that you love rain. You are sitting with an open umbrella, but your hair is wet. This means you’ve been walking with a closed umbrella.” I noticed from the side how a smile appeared on the boy’s face. But he didn’t look at me, “How smart you are! Like a famous detective!”

“I had a terrible day. But rain makes me forget everything. Under the rain, you can hide your sadness. Rain is my weakness. I will get totally wet, but I will continue to stand and enjoy every drop that is falling.”

I had been looking at the boy for a long time, being unable to take my eyes off him. He interrupted the pause, “You’re silent.” I shuddered as if waking up after hypnosis, “No… Sorry? I got distracted. I do not know. The rain brings slush and I don’t like it. But judging by your words, it’s as if you were born in the rain.”

The boy voiced his thoughts, “If it hasn’t started raining, I would not have appeared here, and you would sit here alone.” I picked up the topic and expanded it, “Yes… If I didn’t go to my friend’s party at the other end of the city, I would not be late for my train. I would not have come here and would not have met you.”

“Do you regret it?”

I looked at him again, looked away, and lowered my head.

“I don’t regret I met you. You are a good companion.”

I looked at the boy, admired the beauty of his hair, his nose, and then interrupted the song of the rain again, “We’ve been sitting here for some time now, and you did not even look in my direction.”

“Why look? Sometimes it is enough that someone is near.” The boy stopped smiling. He closed his umbrella and was about to get up. I asked anxiously, “Are you leaving? Has something happened? Have I offended you?” The boy straightened his coat and tightened the belt. He was holding an umbrella in his right hand.

“No, everything is okay. I just have to go home. It’s too late. And you have to go home too.” I did not want to let him go.

The stranger got up from his place. He touched the ground with the tip of his umbrella and knocked on the asphalt and moved along the sidewalk in slight steps.

I realized that he was blind.

1) Unforgettable First Encounter and First Impression

Some people give us music of beautiful feelings right from the first sight. In the enormous mileage of hours, days, and weeks — these few moments of interaction seem to be the brightest. And the storm blow as it will, feels like a warm ray of sunshine, when this person is by your side. You feel as if being under the influence of some powerful drug, and as if time stopped its usual course. This person fills you with interest and you want this moment to last forever.

2) The Feelings Expressed, and the Feelings Suppressed

You often cannot find words to do justice to your feelings. As an act of injustice, your words express the emotion and cannot convey the true meaning that is written in your heart. You want to explain your delicious excitement and at the same time, you are afraid to scare this person. Every glance to the direction of your affection turns your life into a romance. You try to lead the conversation with some ceremony and stateliness and feel how untrue to your awakened being all words are.

3) Noticeable Effort to Make a Favorable Impression

You rush to make an unforgettable impression. You take to every word of your companion, trying to read the meanings behind the words. You want to scent sympathy in the air. This desire compels you to say things you think your new acquaintance will like. This is a charming experience, when you push all your inner treasures on the surface and shut all your little pricks to the bottom of your personality. This brief misrepresentation is very normal. We need to show the loveliness and virtue to entice and lure. You both understand that this treaty you are entering into will last for some time, and finally, both of you will reveal yourselves fully, later, over time.

4) The Feeling of Some Magic Connection

You feel that volumes of explanation are not needed, you can understand each other from half a word. In every gesture and word, there is a vivid and intense sense of magical connection. You want to excite interest and to further heighten it, so this person will want to see you again. You are still afraid to bespeak, expose your overcharged heart, but the feeling of love hangs about you, and somehow you both can see a glimmer of it.

5) Desire to Confide in This Person

You are visited with the longing to confide in this person, to say away your secret worries and inner desires. In a perfect rapture, you listen to everything your companion is saying. You ardently want to get closer, to make the conversation deep and lasting. You seem to call up sudden dim remembrances of past scenes that you never recollected before. This encounter awakens some brief memory of happier existences, long gone by. You are eager to share those scenes with this beautiful soul.

6) Euphoria From the Expression of Mutual Favorable Feelings

When you see that the hue of your companion’s countenance has changed to either a slight touch of paleness or added a crimson flush to the cheeks, you know that the meeting takes place with great emotion on both sides. Your mind rambles at its pleasure, and you do not want to return to the actual world. When such bright emotions fall on you, their radiance reaches heaven.

7) It Is Painful When You Make a Conversational Blunder

When you have no faults, you shall soon get like everybody else. Your little improprieties are your signature marks. Some words are worn with use and sound false and pretentious. It is a common mistake to use those when you are shaken with new emotions. If there is something to criticize in your speech and striking about your appearance, it means you won’t be lost amid a host of similar acquaintances. Be strange, strange things stick to the mind. Apologize if you committed some indelicacy. To say ‘sorry’ gracefully has a dash of the innocence in it.

Throughout our life we throw out words, start conversations and forget about them completely. If you experienced even a vague humming of a little heartfelt conversation, keep it in your memory, re-echo it now and then. What are we but the memories we’ve created? Love from the first sight can happen ones or twice, welcome it each time with delight.

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Previously published on “Hello, Love”, a Medium publication.

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