A bearded man ponders just what men do or don’t do with their faces and why.
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There is only one rule about beards (I apologize for Fight Club paraphrasing): for it to be a beard it must be acknowledged as such. Let me explain in more detail.
Hair grows from a man’s face naturally and to varying degrees depending on the man. So, the declaration, “I’m growing a beard” is technically incorrect. More appropriate would be to say, “I am no longer shaving my face and neck.” The hair grows naturally, whether we want it or not, so the common wording implies that beards are in themselves a social construction, when actually they are only named as such as to distinguish the hirsute look from the clean-shaven image that has only emerged in our more recent history. What we can do is either conduct the act of shaving or the act of not shaving. And this is where beards come from.
I know many men with beards and many men who are just sporadic with their shaving. There is a difference. It is not based on length of follicles nor on general thatchiness but on form and function. But most of all, it must be acknowledged as such. The easiest way of noticing is to state, “I see you have a beard,” or “nice beard mate,” depending on quality of the beard. There is also “oh, didn’t know/think you would ever grow a beard.”
Everyone has one friend or more who never grows a good beard, and there are many reasons for this. The only other options are goatees or moustaches. The fake beard has yet to take off, suggesting that beards and manly virility go hand in hand. I know someone who would never consider growing a beard due to the fact that the moustache comes out as blond while the rest would be brown—another fun fact about beards! Guys, don’t be surprised when they come out different colors. I for one have some blond bits on my upper and lower lips amid an otherwise brown beard.
Lots of beards are not actually beards. They are merely faces with hair on them, much the same way that if you left a lawn unattended it would turn to ruin. This is the hobo look, the “I don’t really care” beard, but it involves extra smell, lack of attention to presentation, and a generally dismissive attitude unless you happen to be a folk/blues singer where it could be part of your act.
Lots of beards are not actually beards. They are merely faces with hair on them…
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Fortunately for the bearded, the follicle free look that had dominated all professions, perhaps outside of academia and journalism, has come to an end (with a few holdouts), so the idea that having a beard makes you a pariah is over. Now it is the way in which you manage your beard that serves to define you in just the same way that men who let their hair grow long allow it to define them. If it looks unkempt, people’s perception of you will change. This may be unfair, but it is a fact of life.
But never fear. We bearded fellows have a powerful ally in the form of the Barber (from Latin barbe=beard) where you go to get beards cut/trimmed/styled. This is what these guys/girls specialise in. I mean, most men get their hair cut in a way that simply keeps things in check. It is the lower head where greater expression can be shown.
Remember guys, beards need attention, too. They need washing, shampooing, combing, brushing—take your pick. Recently, a friend was about to start a new job. He was asked about his beard by his new line manager who stated that, while it is not a problem that he had one, it did need to be kept in a tidy manner, meaning that regular attention needed to be applied to it. Being the guy that he is, a little too relaxed perhaps, he shaved it all off and is now rocking the hair free look.
But are beards manly? Not at all. That’s not the point to them anyway. They can be or they can’t be. All men have different reasons for beards. They could be about building a certain identity, getting a certain look, keeping your face warm in winter, an inability to prevent cuts while shaving, an allergy to razors, or an acceptance that these things grow naturally and should be embraced. Yes, some beards can look messy and it is best to carry a beard comb with you at all times to catch renegade crumbs, but male grooming would never be the same if all men went clean shaven. When visiting some parts of the world, Brooklyn, San Francisco, Portland, or London’s East End, it seems that beards have truly taken off. When visiting other cities or places, West London, Manhattan, or Hollywood, beards are still in the minority.
But are beards manly? Not at all. That’s not the point to them anyway.
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The significant issue for any bearded man or those thinking of just letting it grow is this—how we present ourselves to the world is the first thing anyone sees in us. We could just as easily be shabby looking and clean shaven as shabby looking and bearded. Most of us, exceptions noted, prefer to present our best side to the world be it socially, professionally, or otherwise and the unkempt look can be accentuated with a beard. Nothing says “I don’t care about myself, therefore am unlikely to care about others” like someone who is turned out quite poorly.
The thing with a beard is that it is the first thing a potential friend/employer/partner sees when they first meet us. It frames our mouths when we introduce ourselves. Here is where the difference is made. We can wow them with our well-presented look and be accepted as a bearded man, with all the good and bad that it entails, or we can be seen to not have shaved for a while—to pay little attention to how we look. While this is okay for many people, for each person it works for it might jeopardize your chances of getting that job/date etc. with someone else.
So, does the beard make the man, or the man make the beard? I guess it depends both on the man as well as the beard.
Image: Kris Krug/Flickr
I have a very clear position about beards – they need to be treated well or you should not have it at all. Some of my friends, especially one, has chaos on his face and it make him look like homeless guy, but another example is my another friend that has majestic beard and it makes him look even better. Thus again – if you have beard you need to take care of it! Nice article 🙂
I really dislike beards, to the point where unless it’s close-cropped, it’s a pretty effective was to signal “undateable” to me. I do like a trimmed mustache, but the curly ones looks pretentious. Points for quirky, none for sexy (except for a niche subgroup of women). Not many men are turned on by hairy pits, legs, or faces. Women have to do a large amount of grooming and maintenance to be considered attractive. Is it too much to expect the same for men? Saying this on a post where there’s much man-love for the beard may not be diplomatic, but… Read more »
I don’t think there are any rules about beards: those of who have them have them because we can.
Those who don’t have access to facilities (eg the homeless) may not have perfectly tidy beards – but they still have beards.
I’ve had my current beard for over three and a half years – I can’t image not having it. Well – I can – but it’s a sad imagining.
Beards are awesome.
I grew a beard about 16 years ago and have worn it at varying lengths ever since with the exception of 2 times that I whittled down the sideburns to leave a big goatee. My dad always had a beard, too, so I feel like I’m carrying on the family tradition. My son, at 7, says he’ll keep one when he grows up, which is probably for the best, since I don’t think I’d know how to teach him to shave…
I grew a beard after my first divorce seven years ago – both to change my look as I was changing my life and because my first wife had made me shave it off when we were first dating. The beard also served as a kind of covering and a way to hide myself and my pain from the world, while simultaneously causing everyone to say I looked like my father, who died when I was a young boy. It wasn’t until about four months ago, over Labor Day weekend, that I let a dear friend – a woman I… Read more »