JJ Vincent reflects on 2013 and the things he didn’t accomplish.
1. Win the lottery. 2013 has come and gone and once again, I am not a multi-hundred millionaire. I blame Wall Street, reality TV, the Wiggles, people who eat chocolate, and the color orange. Of course, if I had actually played, I might have accomplished this goal.
2. Sleep less, party more. This may be a draw. If chronic insomnia counts as sleep less and hanging out with your knitter friends until midnight counts as party more, then I guess I can count this as a Win. But since one was not a choice and the other never included red solo cups, body shots, or begging for aspirin the next morning, I think most people would call Fail.
3. Learn to play a musical instrument. Unless typing on your keyboard so loudly that your conference calls and office mates ask what the hell you are doing counts as a learning a Technology Percussion instrument, put this in the Fail column.
4. Cook at least one new dish a week. My kitchen cabinet space is limited. Unless I go on a china-busting spree, I do not have room for 52 new dishes. Fail.
5. Spice up my life with new and interesting…. Stop. Stop right there. Nope. Nosy. Shame on you. I bet you skipped down to this one. Moving on.
6. Don’t read the comments. DON’T READ THE COMMENTS. As my partners and office mate and mother and best friend and people in the coffee shop and the art space and the auto shop and the restaurant and the airport and the press room and probably my neighbors and my dogs can attest (sorry, y’all), I utterly and completely failed at this one.
7. Stop eating junk food. Since today’s breakfast included mini-Twix and tortilla chips, you do the math.
8. Go to the gym at least twice a week. By my math, this meant a minimum of 104 visits in a year. So while I didn’t go twice a week, every week, if you count the total number of times I went, then the number is….zero. Oops.
9. Put my clothes up as soon as they come out of the laundry. I had to get a ruling on this. Stacking folded items on the nearest unoccupied bedroom surface to be rooted through daily does not count as putting them up. Apparently putting up means out of site in a drawer or closet, not making a 5′ tall Dali-esque tower of wearables.
10. Organize my craft and fabric spaces. See below.
So, will I be more accomplished in 2014? My dog is looking at me skeptically. She knows me too well.