It’s not that your wife doesn’t desire you. It’s that her desire doesn’t look like yours. This is what you need to know.
First the good news:
It’s may not be that she doesn’t desire you.
More likely, is that her desire looks nothing like your own.
You feel an ache in your groin when you see her bent over in the kitchen, or when you catch a glimpse of her nipples rising under her t-shirt.
You feel that same ache as she shares what’s going on in her life in that animated, oh-so-feminine way she does.
It’s an ache you know well — because essentially, you want her all the time.
You imagine that her desire for you should be similar –that she should fantasize about your anatomy and what it can do for her. You hope that when she sees you walk through the door, she can’t help but rip your clothes off and jump your bones.
This is rarely how it is for most women.
If you’re using these scenarios as a measure for how much and if your woman desires you, you’re playing with the wrong measuring stick.
A woman’s desire is very different from a man’s, and it’ important to understand how and why.
First of all, a woman is not nearly as turned on visually as a man. While she may look at you and feel that ache at times, it’s generally not compelling enough to make her want to wrap her anatomy around yours.
Instead, her desire is driven by a series of micro events where she feels good with you – where she feels seen, appreciated, desirable and relaxed.
That said, if she doesn’t feel good in your presence, her desire for you can plummet and can drop to below freezing.
Note: I’m not suggesting that a woman isn’t self-determined concerning her own states. Of course she needs to be open and willing to feel good in order to feel good with a man.
Feeling good with you follows some simple rules:
- She feels good about herself in your presence (seen and appreciated)
- She feels supported (you are taking care of her in manly ways)
- She feels respect and admiration (you are demonstrating accountability and trustworthiness)
Some examples of what builds those feelings are:
You walk in the door and look happy to see her (appreciation)
You say she looks great (appreciation)
You mention how good she smells, and for added emphasis, you groan (appreciation)
You ask about work and seem genuinely interested in how it’s going (support)
You suggest making plans for a trip she’s been hoping to take with you (support)
You mention having taken care of something you promised you’d do (respect and trustworthiness)
Whenever a woman is feeling good about herself in your presence (due to your appreciation), and she’s feeling admiration for you (due to your trustworthiness) and she’s feeling lighter (due to your support), her desire for you increases.
What are the signs that she’s more turned onto you?
- She’s playful
- She’s talkative
- She’s seeking your attention
So now you want to start applying appreciation, trustworthiness and support and noticing how a woman’s desire for you gets turned on.
As you get good at this, you’ll be able to tap into her vein of pleasure and inject it with what she craves – time and time again.
Soon you’ll be the “drug” she can’t get enough of, and you’ll be able to read her displays of desire for you, clear as day!