In today’s day and age, thanks to the evolution of technology and the use of the internet and social media, it seems we are more connected and have more connections than ever before.
In fact, over 85 percent of Americans have access to the internet with Social Media being one of the most popular activities. But despite what those numbers might tell you, we are experiencing unprecedented loneliness.
Did you know that nearly half of Americans feel lonely?
According to a recent Cigna survey, 46% of Americans feel alone or left out. The study also revealed that 54% feel that no one knows them well. The Health Resources and Services Administration calls it the “Loneliness Epidemic”. This phenomenon is happening not only in the US but also in other parts of the world.
A study by the Co-op and the British Red Cross reveals over nine million people in the UK across all adult ages –- more than the population of London -– are either always or often lonely. Nearly half of Britains over 65 consider the television or a pet their main source of company. In Japan, there are more than half a million people under 40 who haven’t left their house or interacted with anyone for at least six months.
And unfortunately, the list goes on…
Loneliness has strong psychological implications; according to Emma Seppälä, Ph.D. the Science Director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, LONELINESS is the main reason why people seek psychological counseling!
Loneliness can lead to:
• Poor decision-making.
• Alcoholism and drug use.
• Alzheimer’s disease progression.
• Decreased memory and learning.
• Increased stress levels.
• Depression and suicide.
But it doesn’t stop there.
Loneliness has also serious health outcomes… Did you know that loneliness is worse for you than obesity? And is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day? It is also likely to increase your risk of death by 29%
So you might be a non-smoker, eating healthy and going to the gym. But if you are feeling lonely, it’s like if you are a big fat smoker.
Are you not paying attention to your kids are you allowing them to feel lonely?
You might as well give them a cigarette, some chips, and let them be all day sit down playing video games. The long term results might be the same. So what can you do to fight loneliness and gain your health back?
Allow me to tell you a short story.
Not so long ago, I had a coaching session with a client in the city I grew up in. I got there the night before and I stayed at my parents, so I could spend some time with my mom and dad. I had everything set up. The session was at 10 a.m. so I had plenty of time to have breakfast with them, talk and still get there on time.
The next day, I woke up early, got ready, and had breakfast. I had a very important strategy session, so I started my day early and on a roll. I started answering some texts, emails, making some phone calls, etc… Everything had to be ready so my client could get the most out of our session together and I could get back home the same day.
Suddenly my mom came down the stairs. “Good morning,” she said. Good morning Mom, I replied and kissed her.
As I was leaving the table, I saw she grabbed the remote that controls the curtains and started pressing one button, then the other, then another… She wanted to have breakfast with my dad with one of the curtains up, not all. They like watching the sunrise across the mountains.
I already felt I was in a rush, ready to continue with all my work and prepared for that very important meeting. But somehow, I don’t know if it was my “spider-sense” or my “superhero intuition”, which made me realize that my mom was having a hard time with the remote.
I don’t know if it also happens to you, but it is less than a fraction of a second when you think… “ummmm, I have to go, I have many things to do I am very busy today. It doesn’t matter, my dad may come down later and he will tell her how to use the remote.” Then another part of me started thinking… “just grab the damn remote and do it yourself, you can explain her later”. Honestly, the first thought won.
I was approaching to say goodbye when I saw she left the remote on the counter with disappointment in her eyes. “But I really have to go” — I thought. My mom is not a very technological person. If you don’t know what I mean by that, it means a 10-second explanation becomes a 10-minute tutorial that won’t end very well.
I took some courage, grabbed the remote, and explained to her. It literally took me no more than five minutes, with some laughs and smiles. Then the unexpected happened… “THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR LOVING ME SO MUCH AND BEING PATIENT WITH ME”.
That felt like two jabs and one hook right into the liver… I made her feel good but she made me feel Spectacular!
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Sometimes work, stress, to-do lists, and responsibilities but most of the time EXCUSES we tell ourselves are the ones that get in the middle of a meaningful connection, of creating or strengthening a bond with someone.
Today I share this story with you because the antidote to loneliness is bonding. When you create a bond, an emotional connection with someone, your life changes immediately. It is a wonderful feeling!
It gives you a sense of confidence, purpose, meaning, and fulfillment, all of which are antidotes to loneliness. And the best thing is that when you do it, you are not only helping yourself but you are making an impact also in someone else’s life.
It also leads to leads to a 50% increased chance of longevity, strengthens your immune system (research by Steve Cole shows that genes impacted by loneliness also code for immune function and inflammation), and helps you recover from disease faster
And an easy way to do it is just by… Being of Service
Today as you finish reading this, I invite you to #take5. It can be five seconds or five minutes, but take them and be of service.
It is as easy as:
• Stop
• Look Around
• Be of Service (with a smile)
You don’t have to learn something special, you don’t have to be a superhero, you don’t even have to go far to do it. I’m sure you’ll find it almost anywhere. #take5 and be of service.
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Photo Credit: Samuel Austin on Unsplash