Honestly,
I only sit at a table to eat.
Jokes aside, these are a few things I personally won’t tolerate in a relationship.
1. You are never in his future plans
I’m not talking about planning the next trip or where you’re going later this evening. I’m talking about the bigger conversations. Does he ever talk about your wedding? How many kids you both might want? What your life together would look like when you’re old?
This might not seem significant at first, especially if you’re someone who believes in living in the moment. But I genuinely don’t believe a man who wants to spend his life with you hasn’t imagined those things already.
2. He never brings you gifts or makes you feel special on the occasions that matter to you
Some people will say, “It’s just not his thing.”
But do you really think a man who’s dating his dream girl is sitting there arguing about why he doesn’t want to buy her flowers?
Sounds pretty silly to me.
Even if flowers aren’t your thing, a partner who cares will always find their own way to make you feel special.
This also includes the men who somehow manage to start a fight on your birthday, ruin your special day, or constantly put you down when you’re supposed to be celebrating.
Throw that man out.
I don’t care what reason he has. He needs to go.
3. He never introduces you to his friends
Men who are genuinely in love usually enjoy talking about their partner. They like showing her off a little.
Even if he’s a private person, his closest friends should still know he has a girl in his life.
So the next time a man says, “I’m just private,” ask yourself if that’s actually true.
4. No “50/50” or “Why should I pay for this?”
This one might seem extreme to some people, but it’s absolutely unacceptable in my books.
What do you mean your boyfriend can’t even pay for your meal?
If buying his dream girl’s dinner makes him feel used, then honestly, he’d be better off staying single.
5. He follows 2,000+ people, especially women
Girls, you need to stop letting men get away with this.
He knows exactly what he’s doing.
6. A person who is unkind or bitter
I don’t even think I should have to mention this because it should be the bare minimum.
Find someone who is respectful. Someone who makes you feel like your future is going to be peaceful and fulfilling, not someone who constantly brings chaos into your life.
Personally, I don’t keep jealous, bitter people, or people who constantly talk behind others’ backs in my life.
That’s just not who I am, and I don’t want that kind of energy around me.
7. A misogynist or someone who constantly makes degrading remarks about women
I’m honestly surprised I even need to mention this because I’ve seen some women let this slide.
DO NOT sleep in the same bed with a man who wouldn’t protect and defend your rights.
I don’t care how much he says he loves you or how much you love him.
Love fades.
Today he doesn’t like other women. Tomorrow, when your relationship goes through a rough patch, he won’t like you either.
8. You need to be just as important — if not more important — than his family
What I mean is this: make sure this man would defend you if his family ever treated you unfairly.
Better yet, choose a man who would never let things get to that point in the first place.
A relationship may start with two people, but it also involves the people around them.
So choose someone who has healthy boundaries with their family.
We are not entertaining mommy or daddy issues over here.
These are all I could think of — Let me know if you think I missed something.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Armin Lotfi On Unsplash
