Opening Yourself up to Love Will Pay Dividends in the Long Run

I am a closed book. Or at least, I was.

For three years, after my first serious relationship, I figured I’d be single forever. I was answering to no one, no troubles — all that jazz.

Little did I realize just how negatively this mindset this would impact my receptiveness to future relationships. When someone new popped up in my life, I unknowingly refused to allow myself to feel anything.

I had convinced myself I was better off alone, repressing any notion of feelings as, secretly, I was scared. Not that my brain would even notify me of such a thing.

It is laughable when I look back now. Even though it was only last summer, I felt this way, the change in mindset is remarkable. Finding love has lead to a whole new way of approaching situations I wouldn’t think possible even a mere year ago.

Frankly, I can’t believe I am writing this article. Younger me wouldn’t even dare!

. . .

Slowly, not all at once

I’m cautious and don’t wear my heart on my sleeve, not that that is a bad thing. As a consequence, it has allowed me to be absolutely sure I am doing the right thing.

Open yourself up to love too quickly, and you are likely to get hurt. Ask yourself, is this right for me?

In the long run, I am glad I did. I wouldn’t say the floodgates opened. Instead, the gate was gently nudged open. The further it is opened, the more feelings are let in.

Not that I can take credit. My girlfriend helped me see that I was being held hostage by my brain, so thank you to her (I know she’s reading).

. . .

Emotions are fast

Yes, closing yourself off to love has its perks. For one, you are more in control of your emotions, partly because you stop yourself from feeling anything whatsoever.

That’s the point. Opening yourself up to love can allow you to feel. Feelings are at the heart of every living being; they are what makes life enjoyable.

Fun fact for you:

It takes about 100 milliseconds for our brain to react emotionally and about 600 milliseconds for our thinking brain, our cortex, to register this reaction. By the time you decide how you feel, your face has been expressing it for 500 milliseconds.

So, in reality, suppressing emotions doesn’t work. Your brain plays you for a fool.

. . .

Take a minute

Stop for a second. Think. What is the cause of my suppression? Why am I looking for excuses in the first place? Besides, it’s not as if you don’t have the time at the minute.

In the long run, opening yourself up relaxes your brain. It’s no longer asking why shouldn’t I?

So, go on, take a leap of faith every now and then. Besides, love is the best feeling there is.

When in times of peril, what do people think of?

Exactly.

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This post was previously published on Hello, Love and is republished here with permission from the author.
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