Welcome to the second part of my series, “Parenting Poetry.” You can find my first installment right here, and I am intending this to be an ongoing theme on my Medium account.
I’ve started my sixth book. It’s titled “Kids Ruin Everything” and if they stop bothering me every five minutes, I should be able to publish it before I die. The poems in these articles will be part of that book, and be the intros to the chapters and stories within.
Enjoy.
…
Thanks for the Warning
It was ten PM on a Sunday night,
Comfy and cozy and nestled in tight
On the couch was dear mom
Watching one of her shows,
Completely relaxed (as relaxed as it goes).
When out from the corner
Of her transfixed gaze
Came the shadow of a child
Still in sleepy haze.
“Why aren’t you in bed?”
Mom asked her young spawn.
The child approached,
And then through a yawn
Said, “I forgot to tell you-“
Mom, instantly pale,
“-tomorrow I need cupcakes for the school’s bake sale.”
…
The Bedroom
Venturing into
The child’s room,
What will I find?
It smells like doom.
Something old, something new,
Something borrowed, something blue.
A wedding rhyme, sure,
But teen’s rooms, also true.
Cleaning time,
Piles of clothes.
Is this a sandwich?
No one knows.
I swear I saw
From corner of eye
Something move
In this pigsty.
This room’s a disaster,
Like war-torn Beirut,
Thank goodness I’m wearing
A good Hazmat suit.
The Laundry
Approaching the dryer
Hesitant, but optimistic
That maybe today will be different.
Opening the door
Removing clothes, now clean
The folding begins.
The lint filter sits full
Candy wrappers, paper and rocks
What in the actual shit.
Piece by piece
They are examined
Pants and shirts and socks.
Like a person confessing
His deepest secrets and sins
The clothes reveal themselves.
One leg in, one sleeve out
Mismatched socks, outturned pockets
Like there was a clothing orgy.
Every item turned inside out
A shirt stuffed inside a pant leg
How the fuck does that even happen?
The dryer closes, items still inside
Craning my neck, I exclaim
“YOU CAN JUST FOLD THIS YOURSELF.”
…
Hope you enjoy these little sneak previews.
You can find all my other books on Amazon.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com