People, Mirrors, and Sensational Ideas

It can get really old to have someone speak on your behalf that you in no way requested to do so and that in no way represents your perspective. When someone uses their voice on my behalf to be a bully, that voice is not welcomed or agreed with.

For instance, my friend and I formed a relationship over our shared response to an unkindness. Now, the same group of people who experienced the unkindness are telling my friend, “Oh, she is too busy for you,” or, “She thinks this derogatory thing about you,” and choose to cause false division where there previously was none. Usually in this circumstance, people are just acting out because they perceive an inadequacy within themselves and this is the easiest way to cope.

Thankfully, reality offers us enough room in the world for an abundance of kindness. One person’s kindness does not have to be at the expense of another person’s kindness. There is room for all of us to be our best without having to dismantle each other’s bests. It is only a competition on a personal level if you are determined to see it that way.

Sometimes what speaks on my behalf is a mirror. People look at me, see a reflection of themselves that they are unhappy with, and they assume that I agree with this reflection that they are projecting on me. Your mirrors are your business and your perspective. I don’t always know what they are communicating to you and, in most cases that I am aware of, I certainly do not agree with the shame those mirrors are pressuring you with. I am not a mirror. I am a fellow human being with my own thoughts and my thoughts are generally quite inclined to see the best in people.

“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” -Vincent Van Gogh

Sometimes what speaks on my behalf is a sensational idea of the moment. There are so many memories and so many cultural pressures that encourage you to be hyper aware of areas within your life and within your person that are lacking. If you can possibly find a way, give yourself a break!

You are okay! What is so great about a person who made you feel like crap that they can continue to so powerfully wield that rejection? What is so great about pop culture icons who determine what specific character qualities will be celebrated in a season and what specific character qualities will be scapegoated against? Sometimes pop culture encourages you to be yourself but then they punish you if yourself is not exactly who they expect you to be.

Why do we let people who have no better idea at what they are doing have so much authority over making us feel bad about ourselves and minimizing our individual accomplishments? Not everything is as terrible as it seems – including you. You’ve got this!

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