‘I don’t shy away from hard conversations’ – Tema
Essay 10 of 18
You know what? I question that. Let me tell you why.
Given Tema didn’t have the hard conversations with you about where she was in her mind about the relationship as it was unfolding for her, she’s never shied away from the hard conversations when they’re one-sided, and she has the power.
My question is, I don’t know that she’s allowed herself to be in hard conversations, à la with you, for example, where there’s a mutual platform of power.
After reading her goodbye email and listening to her companion goodbye voice-note and her demeanor during the post-good-bye 46-minute conversation she offered to you, one thing became clear for me, and it was a rub.
I was like, “Ooooh, she sounds like a nice control freak.”
One who can use the power of communication and enlightened rationalization to explain her dysfunction beautifully around control.
It really bothered me at a certain point. After that, I was just like, “Wow!!”
What I’m saying to you is I’m not quite ready to valorize her in that way. It could be unconscious or operating in her shadow, but no, she had agency; she had choices.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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