MISS INDEPENDENCE
Bad tinder swipes. Bumble stings. IG direct message requests to get laid. Ladies you’ve seen it all. Fellas look at an attractive woman’s DM at your own risk. Most guys can’t handle it. Attention seekers love it. Insecure individuals find security in third party affirmation. We live in an age of misinformation. Someone misinformed Romeo he isn’t sought after. Someone lied and told Juliet she isn’t a Damsel. So…she decided to go it alone.
Not really.
Romance seems lost.
The art of seduction appears found.
Fifty shades of grey with no elements of light.
I’m sure you get the message. Women. You still want romance. You still want love. You still want what ten thousand generations had before you.
So.
How do you get it from a man?
A MAN’S PERSPECTIVE
Empathy is required if you want something from someone. We cannot solicit what we want if we don’t understand what someone else wants.
Shaming someone for what they want does not help.
Guilt tripping a person’s desire doesn’t make you more desirable.
Objectively, I write only from a man’s point of view. I am not qualified to write from a woman’s point of view. How can I? I am a man.
Empathy is required if you want something from someone. We cannot solicit what we want if we don’t understand what someone else wants.
Ladies. This should resonate with you. You’re looking to understand men. You want things from men. In this instance, I’m sure you want a man to romance you.
So read up.
SPARKING EMOTIONS WITHIN MEN
We cannot play games of control. Manipulation is not a person’s best choice of action. Overwhelming people with your emotions is not an answer to getting your cup filled.
Men attachments motivate differently.
There is a saying. This saying is true.
“Men learn to fall in love with their eyes. Women learn to fall in love with people they get to know.”
Objectively, I write only from a man’s point of view. I am not qualified to write from a woman’s point of view. How can I? I am a man.
I know you’re first thought. Vanity. True. Objective physical features get our attention. There is no denying this. Objective actions hold our attention. Men see actions. These actions spark romance.
I’ll give you four sentences which spark romance within men.
FOUR INSPIRING ACTIONS FOR ROMANCE
A woman who chooses to reveal her figure only subtly is more beautiful than a half-naked woman.
A woman who refuses to speak with belligerence is listened to while the one who curses is disregarded.
A woman who asks questions instead of making statements based on her assumptions draws us closer instead of pushing us apart.
A woman who punishes people for natural consequences instead of owning responsibility for lack of self-work or control is shunned.
LUST VERSUS DESIRE
Many women do not understand this concept. Mainly I blame lack of good fathers. A father is the first man to accept or reject a woman. One of a father’s primary duties to his daughter is teaching her appropriate nonsexual affection.
“Men learn to fall in love with their eyes. Women learn to fall in love with people they get to know.”
Affection which is nonsexual is important. Women who do not understand the difference often cannot distinguish between the two.
Most women get hurt. What all crave is desire. Desire is real intimacy. Both women and men want desire. Many guys are lustful. Women often listen to lustful guys’ words, confuse their touch, and get hurt when they discover their touch was only lust. Hurt women proceed to write off all men as a result.
This is typical childlike behavior. If one person out the group hurt me all of them hurt me!
This is what bigotry is based on. Bigotry is the foundation of racism. You get my point.
LET’S BE FAIR
Let’s be fair to these women. It is difficult to learn appropriate touch as an adult. A fully developed woman, who naturally elicits attraction between heterosexual males, is going to have a hard time allowing men to touch her.
I do not recommend allowing random men to touch you women.
Fathers are supposed to do this.
I can try my best to explain. It is best shown.
WHAT IT FEELS LIKE
The best way to explain desire is simply.
“When a man touches you, he should not be aroused. He should not look at your body. He should gaze into your eyes. Your embrace should linger. He should not care where he is at. His breathing should be easy. Not fast. You should not feel nervous. It should be almost as if you two could fall asleep in each other’s arms.”
The feeling brings you peace. It feels totally appropriate. It seldomly motivates any lustful feeling.
If you are in love, it can inspire involuntary attraction. A feeling where you don’t understand why you feel the way you do you just do.
While this is not the best way to illustrate, it is my honest attempt.
GETTING EMOTION OUT OF THE NON-EMOTIONAL
Men and guys alike are taught to suppress emotions. This is probably unhealthy. Whatever your take is it’s irrelevant. In so much as we should not seek to argue right or wrong. It is possible for a person to be right and get a wrong outcome.
Love is not a battle of egos. Love is not about being right. Love is a feeling of intimacy, peace, and tranquility.
Arguments, competitions, and aggressive actions are the complete opposite.
Men do not want competitors with women. Men do not want arguments with women. Men do not want aggressive behaviors in women.
We get enough of this in the world. Remember men deal with these components daily.
In the world we seek one refuge from struggle.
Our refuge is supposed to be our home. The woman is in our home. Our home cannot be one of turmoil. Our home cannot be one of competition. Our home cannot be one where an aggressive agent resides. That is not home. Without a home of peace and tranquility we cannot love. With no love there can be no romance.
To Your Knowledge Success!
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Sources
1) The life of Christopher Knight Lopez a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”.
2) University of Pennsylvania. “From Negative Biases to Positive News: Resetting and Reframing News Consumption for a Better Life and a Better World”. Edwards Henry. August 15th 2017. Accessed December 1, 2022.
3) University of Illinois at Chicago ProQuest Dissertations Publishing. “A Schema-Based Account of a Negativity Bias in Collective Future Thinking”. Sushmita Shrikanth. 2021. Accessed December 1, 2022.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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