Pride and love do not share the same vibration. These days it feels like so many of us are playing a game of who can seem to not give a sh*t the best. It’s sad and a horrible game where no one wins.
Our egos are amazing. They allow us to experience this reality and live in it to the max.
One thing the ego seems to mess up a lot is relationships. Romantic relationships mostly.
Love is inclusive. Our egos want to be right and not make fools of ourselves. Especially if we have been fools in the past. That’s when pride steps in. And it can do it subtly without us even noticing it took over the show.
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Pride is there to cover up shame and humiliation. So naturally, if we feel threatened, pride tries to be there as a cushion. We try to sell ourselves the story of “If I would be abandoned, it’s okay because I don’t care, anyway”. It usually isn’t true because when we don’t care, pride is not present. When we really don’t care, we even humble ourselves enough to end a relationship in a soft, respectful way. Hey, we might even be friends with an ex.
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I am not a fan of suppressing emotions or pretending they’re not there. If we date someone, we also need to figure out if they’re going to accept and love all sides of us, not just the fun, easy ones. But to do that, we have to be willing to say how we feel. If we don’t, are we authentic in our relationships?
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No one is perfect. What does perfect even mean? Sometimes we fall into the trap of thinking that as soon as we heal and eradicate every wall and fear we put up, then we will have a successful relationship.
This is a lot to take on. It’s also not true. It’s another tactic our ego tries to pull to keep us safe.
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Telling the person we are in love with about all our worst fears will tell us a lot about who they are and how they show up in the relationship. If they dismiss it and make us feel bad about it, maybe they’re not the one after all. But if they can hold us and understand our fears and even be vulnerable themselves, then we have something great to work with.
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Friendship is the antidote to pride. True friendship is the basis for any relationship and the ones that seem the strongest have a friendship that they can fall back on every time.
A friend will not make us feel ashamed of our dark thought and fears.
But pride will never get us anywhere. It only keeps us stuck in bad situations, or it pushes away the right situations.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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 White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
 Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: Taylor Smith on Unsplash
