I am well aware of how I show up as a white man and the privilege that might come just from my appearance.
I often reflect on the juxtaposition of being privileged based on my appearance and being discriminated against for my sexual orientation.
In both cases, it has little to do with me and more to do with the biases and paradigms that others live with when they meet people or get to know them.
Privilege is about receiving preferential treatment from others; it is about having advantages that others might not have access to in their lives.
Many people conclude that there is only white privilege when the fact is that everyone has access to privilege based on their life circumstances.
It is essential to understand and accept that privilege is controlled or uncontrolled.
For example, being white, male, and gay uncontrollable while owning my home, driving a nice car, and traveling the world are all controllable. This one perspective brings the opportunity to see that privilege is not limited to those who look a certain way.
People might live with privilege if they are male versus female, white versus another race, heterosexual versus homosexual, thin versus obese, middle class versus living in poverty, educated beyond high school versus not having a diploma, or able-bodied versus disabled.
Privilege might very well be more accessible to people than once thought because of the expanded understanding of what constitutes privilege.
In those cases where individuals or groups do not have access to privilege or equitable treatment, it might make sense to seek an allyship with another person or group.
Allyship is about aligning marginalized people with others who might give support and cooperation.
Allyship gives those without a seat at the table or a voice in the room a way to be represented.
I have found the following three tactics to be effective when looking at how I can be an ally.
- Acknowledgment: How do I reflect on my biases and paradigms to ensure that I am coming from a place of owning my words and actions, making sure that they align with supporting others to the best to f my abilities.
- Awareness: How do I show up with others, and how are others responding to me in our interactions to build on our collaborations.
- Action: What actions am I taking to demonstrate my commitment to the allyship, ensuring follow-through on promises made to be supportive and encouraging.
Once I know the behaviors that will be most effective in my allyship with another person or group, I ask them what they want more of and less of. This is a great way to avoid confusion and conflict down the road.
When we collaborate and cooperate, we build stronger allyships that create win-win outcomes for everyone, not just a certain few.
How might you live with privilege?
Did you do anything to have it, or was it something you were born with?
With much gratitude.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: Shutterstock
