June 2023 is LGBTQ+ Pride month, and this is an important time to promote awareness and acceptance of our community. There are many issues that face LGBTQ+ people today, and we can speak up for ourselves, tell our stories, and help to promote inclusivity.
Back in the mid-90’s I came out as bisexual to all my friends in high school. I wasn’t the only one. In those times, there were far less labels for sexual and gender identities than there are now. You were either gay, straight or bi. There was nothing else.
I remember telling a girl I loved her for the first time. She was straight and didn’t reciprocate, but I told her, I love you for your beautiful heart. I don’t love people because of their gender, I love them for who they are on the inside.
Hearts not parts. That is a catch-phrase for what it means to be pansexual, and it fits with the way that I have always felt. For me, love is an emotional connection between two people, regardless of gender.
I don’t go looking for a partner because of what they have to offer sexually, I look for someone who I can have deep talks with in the middle of the night, and the sexual connection comes from there. It comes after.
I found the pansexual label a few years ago, and came out again as pansexual on Facebook for my friends. I had finally found a label that described how I had felt inside all these years.
According to Rolling Stone,
The meaning of pansexual is clear: someone who is attracted — either emotionally, physically or both — to all genders. This includes cisgender, transgender, agender and gender nonconforming individuals. The prefix was chosen because it comes from the Greek root “pan,” meaning “all.”
For me, and many other pansexuals, the term is more inclusive than the label of bisexual. It applies to people of all genders, not just cisgender men and women. To me, it says, gender isn’t a binary. And I don’t love people because of their gender anyway.
Many people have never heard of the term pansexual before, and it has only recently come into being. Before, people tended to always identify as bisexual, as I did for a long time. However now, the term is becoming more common, as people in the media are coming out as pansexual.
According to USA Today,
JoJo Siwa, Bella Thorne, Janelle Monáe, Miley Cyrus and Mae Whitman are a few celebrities who have identified with the label.
Having representation in the media has brought more awareness to the pansexual community, and what it means to be pansexual. Still, this is a fairly uncommon label.
According to USA Today,
Only 1% to 2% of LGBTQ adults labeled themselves as queer, pansexual or asexual, according to a recent Gallup survey.
So, pansexuals make up only a small percentage of the population, with bisexual still being a much more common label for sexual orientation. This could be because of the history of the terms, or it could simply be because of how individuals in the LGBTQ+ community see themselves.
I think it is helpful for our community that we are developing more nuanced language around how we present ourselves these days, as our ideas of sexuality and gender evolve and receive more awareness. We are now able to express ourselves more fully through our language, and explain who we are in our hearts.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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