I’m going to admit that I always found it a bit ludicrous when pet owners would seriously compare their caretaker duties to those of parenting an actual tiny human. I understand that the bond between a person and their animal can be very strong and would never minimize the amount of work that they can be, but when a campaign started last May to expand the criteria for inclusion in Mother’s Day celebrations, I had a hard time sympathizing with the petitioners.
The past two weeks may have softened my stance on the issue somewhat, particularly because of the commands that I find myself repeating all day long. My daughter may be off to kindergarten now, but with a new puppy in the house, many of my phrases remain the same.
“Don’t eat that. That’s not food.”
“There’s no possible way that you are hungry already.”
“You need to settle down.”
“No, you can’t get in the shower with me.”
“Don’t touch that.”
“Get off of there.”
“Is that you that stinks?”
“Do you have to poop?”
“Try to poop please.”
“Can’t I just poop in peace?”
And every single morning: “Do you have any idea what frigging time it is?”
I’ve just replaced one needy little animal with another.
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This post was previously published on ThirstyDaddy and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Jeremy Barnes
