The Pursuit of Happiness

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When considering the pursuit of happiness there are two questions that come to mind. One, what is happiness? Two, is it worth the pursuit?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines happiness as “a state of well-being and contentment” okay, we’re getting somewhere. So, after work on a Friday, a good workout, and a filling meal, we’re feeling happy. Seems fair. This begs the question, do we need all three of these things to be happy, or just one? Where does the happiness begin, and where does it end? This is where we face some difficulty, there’s certainly happiness to be had in each of these simple pleasures, but let’s say we’ve got a big task the following day, are we still happy?

Happiness seems to rely on presence; to be fully involved in the current activity. Being preoccupied with the future, with actual or potential worries, deprives us of happiness. We chase a phantom of security, aspiring to one day have the future figured out.

The “pursuit” of happiness, I think, has it all wrong. Happiness isn’t a destination, rather, it’s a journey and a perpetual one at that. Life is full of struggle and hardships, challenges that you need to overcome, unexpected consequences, mistakes, but there’s also the flip side to that, presence leading to contentment.

Let’s take, for example, making copies. It’s a routine, mundane task that most people wouldn’t be too happy with. Much of the displeasure comes from thinking “there are dozens more copies I need to do, this is going to take forever,” it’s about the unpleasant future. If we were to take one copy, this copy, at a time, and be present with that, it doesn’t seem so bad. If we go to the gym, just today, not tomorrow or next week just for today, it’s a molehill rather than a mountain. Eat a healthy meal, just today, let’s not think about tomorrow or the diet plan, this one meal, it’s enjoyable.

Much of our displeasure comes from the so-called pursuit of happiness, not realizing that happiness, rather, contentment is here at any time. Of course, it’s difficult in practice to remain present in this fast-paced world with a myriad of distractions and sources of instant gratification. We need to pursue presence rather than the fleeting sensation that is a future-oriented happiness.

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Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood