Quiet Rebellions

[This “Individuality and Absurd Rebellion” series of posts introduces you to ideas you’ll find in Eric Maisel’s most recent book Redesign Your Mind. You can learn more about Redesign Your Mind here.]

Then there are all the quiet rebellions.

You want to party. Nothing in the universe can stop you. There is no one to keep you from your drugs, your sex, your fun. Why not party? Still, you sigh and stay home. Absurd rebellion looks like this.

Everyone is saying that your son should be medicated for his high spirits. They are cocksure and certain. You disagree. You say, maybe in a shout or maybe very quietly, “No, thanks. I’m not buying what you’re selling.” Your rebellion spares him.

You tiptoe to the mirror and carefully look. “Oh,” you say, “I think I need to upgrade myself here. Oh, and also there. I must calm myself. And lose that weight. And shed that guilt. And smile more. And roar more. And feel more devoted. I see!”

You quietly make those changes, some earthshaking, some painstaking, some as bite-sized as getting on your walking shoes and walking to work, even though you could manage fifteen or twenty more minutes of work time if you didn’t.

Surely it is absurd to walk to work when there is so much to do there and you are so far behind. Nevertheless, you calmly rebel against the pull to rush like a maniac. You stroll to work, feeling the sun on your face, falling behind but also getting ahead.

Most crucially, you quietly rebel in the service of the good. That is your understanding of how you want to live your life: on the side of the good. You acknowledge the absurd difficulty and amazing complexity of right action and nevertheless vote for it.

You quietly rebel in the service of what ought to be. You look at what is and say, “It ought to be thus.” You muse on betterment and listen to your soft musings. Maybe you move the species forward or maybe you just proceed like an inchworm.

You quietly rebel in the direction of an improved, upgraded you. You look in the mirror and you say, “I could be better, and here’s how.” Softly, softly, walking on tiptoes, you discard a vice, act with love, refuse to shout, or calm your nerves a little.

Is it absurd to lead when following is so much safer and more convenient? Absurd to discard a beloved vice when it’s doing no particular harm? Absurd to do good when the universe is completely indifferent? No; these rebellions are the best of us.

These absurd rebellions are available to everyone. They are not available only to the privileged, the healthy, the educated, or the nicely positioned. Each human being can live an engaged life, even in the direst of circumstances, if he or she is willing.

Well, but what can absurd rebellion possibly look like to an old woman in a wheelchair parked in a nursing home corridor? Or to a refugee carrying his belongings on his back? Or to a gay teenager trapped in a claustrophobic town? What then?

What does absurd rebellion look like to each of them? For the old woman, it might mean taking three painful steps with a walker. The refugee might become a camp leader. The gay youth might plot his escape. There are things they might try.

Each can do something and each must do something. There is no formulaic response to suggest and no principle to offer, except the principle of radical self- authorship: a human being can stand up, even if he or she can’t literally stand up.