Reasons Why People Want To Get Back With an Ex

When people hear you say you want your ex back, most of them will give that “I’m so sorry for you” look. They think you’re desperate for love.

Admittedly I’ve had that not-so-nice perspective as well, and it all changed when I hit that moment where I did want my ex back into my life.

Why does it have to be a bad thing? It’s not a crime.

Your close friends will tell you, “Girl! you deserve so much better!” and tell you all the reasons why you shouldn’t get back together with him. But they don’t know that relationship better than you.

Wanting your ex back isn’t something you should be ashamed of unless this ex was a maniac, abusive, or narcissistic (but I’m sure you’re smart enough to choose not to).

I’m talking about the normal breakup, which happened not because of cheating or one person being abusive. The reasons might be somewhere like; either you or your ex wasn’t ready for a serious relationship or some misunderstanding that you then realize later it’s something that you could fix.

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So here are the reasons why sometimes we still want our ex back:

We regret it — and think we can make it better.

You’ve probably heard this thing where people realize that their ex was the love of their life when the breakup already happened.

They knew they couldn’t imagine life without their ex, so they decided to do anything in their power to win them back.

My partner and I did this back in 2019. We were so overwhelmed with the long-distance situation that we called it off. And four months later, he came back realizing it was a mistake.

Though I wouldn’t say our relationship is forever in a happy state right now, at least we have a much stronger emotional bond, and we know we can conquer everything together in the future.

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They’re our first love and basically our first of everything.

It’s so freaking hard to let an ex go when they’re your first of everything. This includes things such as kiss, sex, or even traveling places together. It’s more memorable when they “introduced” you to another new world you haven’t been to yet, so those first experiences are something you can’t imagine cherishing alone.

I knew my now-partner was my first love, and even after four months of that breakup, I still cried several times over him. We explored Bali for the first time together. We built our careers with each other’s constant support and many more.

Especially when it is a long-term relationship, it’s going to be even harder to let go. And there would be more days that you want your ex back.

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No one knows us better than our ex.

The quote saying, “there is still plenty of fish in the sea,” doesn’t really apply to us when all we think about is our ex.

I’ve had a friend who broke up with her ex early this year, and until now, it’s still scary for her to jump again in the dating pool.

We got too comfortable in our previous relationship that the idea of looking for someone new, getting to know them, and anticipating the rejection is just too mentally exhausting.

Especially nowadays when all you could find on Tinder are fuckboys. Imagine being so heartbroken over the breakup with your ex and only to find people who want nothing but casual sex with you.

I know this isn’t sound very motivating, but sometimes we have to stay in touch with reality.

So that concludes the idea that getting back with your ex is a better thing to do. Simply because they already know you long enough, and all you need to do is to fix the relationship together.

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Life was simply more interesting and enjoyable with them.

There’s no such a thing as a “perfect” partner, but you can always see if they’re perfect for you.

And you knew your ex has that. Being with them made you feel alive because you share the same hobbies and insights about the world. But because you dwelled in so many problems until it caused the breakup, you couldn’t see all these precious traits your ex has.

This was one of my regrets when my partner and I had to break up back then. It’s crazily hard to find someone who has the same lifestyle and other life preferences. We don’t smoke or drink. We like to go out hiking/swimming in the lakes. We like silences.

Sure, there are still some differences — it’s completely normal. But I also realized that being together with him is actually making my life so much interesting and enjoyable.

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Overall, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to get back with an ex.

If you think they’re still into you and want to give it a second try, then I’d say go for it. Most times, when the reunion happens, the commitment level will increase, and the relationship is stronger than ever.

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Hi! I write about all things that you might struggle with within your love life. My main goal is to make you less alone in the process. If you resonate with my stories, stay in tune by becoming a Medium member here.:)

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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