There are a shit-ton of recovery memoirs out there of various quality. Remember that one of the characteristics of our disease is denial (or put more simply we are liars) so writing a book about our life can be problematic as was made clear by the most infamous recovery memoir A Million Little Pieces which was a best seller on Oprah’s list etc. before the author was found to have fabricated the whole thing.
The recovery memoir I love the most is The Night of the Gun by David Carr. By the time he wrote the book Carr was a well-known investigative reporter and columnist for the New York Times. He didn’t write his memoir from memory, like everyone else. He did trust his addict brain to tell him the truth. He investigated his own life like he would any other story sixty videotaped interviews, legal and medical records, and three years of reporting. In the pivotal moment in his story when he remembers his friend pulling a gun on him when he showed up at his front door in search of drugs, it turns out the evidence shows that Carr was the one with the gun sticking it in his friend’s face. Brutally honest and ultimately inspiring the story uncovers the truth about how far down the ladder Carr had to go to hit rock bottom (including smoking crack cocaine with his wife in the delivery room after they had twins) before he started his climb up and out for his girls (their mom never got sober).
Alcoholism is most definitely a family disease. In this case, Carr’s daughter Erin grows up to be an amazing writer in her own right. And she provides her perspective on her dad (he died suddenly in the New York Times newsroom from cancer at a relatively young age), addiction, and her own life in her memoir All That You Leave Behind which is equally compelling.
In terms of straight up books on recovery there is none better than Russell Brand’s book Recovery. The guy is hilarious. He is not afraid to tell off color jokes, swear, get down and dirty. And yet he sticks very close to the program and solution as it is laid out in our basic text. I listened to him on audio while running and found myself having to stop to laugh out loud very many times. And sometimes stop to cry too.
There are a ton of podcasts and taped recovery talks on the web. I do have a favorite. It’s by Bob D out of Los Vegas. It’s a discussion of the steps in the context of his life starting in prison. He is a great storyteller and funny as hell so it’s not hard to listen to. This is a recording of a weekend workshop, so it is 11 hours long. Start at the beginning and just listen to a few minutes at a time. I’ve listened to it several times all the way through on my runs. You can find it HERE.
If you want to understand the science behind what alcohol does to the brain and the body, as well as alcoholism, Stanford professor and researcher Huberman mentioned above goes through all the scientific research and data here: What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain & Health
Finally, I am just going to list the meetings that I go to on zoom. I hope to see you there sometime soon.
(For a general listing of all meetings worldwide go to https://www.aa.org/)
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Check out the Sunday Night Speakers Series:
Sundays 8-9 pm EST | November 2022- January 2-23 | Men only | Zoom info: Meeting ID: 968 759 7534 Passcode: Tom
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Never Alone Again meets 21 times a week at 8:30 am, noon, and 7:30 pm. It is a great place for newcomers, particularly the Friday evening newcomers meeting but over time I have shifted at least some of the time to Big Book Step Study meetings where I learned how to do the steps out of the BB with a BBSS sponsor, somewhat more intimate meetings, and single sex meetings. I generally go to NAAG at noon on Tuesday and Thursday because they are focused on the steps and the BB and find my way there on weekend mornings. I go other times too when I need a meeting but not regularly.
867 819 3071 Password: neveralone
I start my day every day with a COED 7:30 am EST prayer and meditation meeting. We read from the BB, say the St. Francis prayer, have 11 minutes of silent mediation, then sharing. Generally 15-20 people. I host on Tuesday mornings. Meets 7 days a week.
922 803 0579 pw Sobah
Monday night Men’s Swampscott BBSS 7-8:30 pm is my most important meeting of the week. If you are male and early in sobriety I HIGHLY recommend you go. You will not hear any drunkalogues, just discussion from men with direct experience having completed the process on exactly how it is done (there is actually no grey area, the instructions are in the textbook). This process and this meeting is what changed my life. My sponsorship family is all there, my sponsor, his sponsor and so forth.
ID 865 0521 3781 PW 058854
Tuesday night at 7:30 pm I go to an intimate COED group called “Seekers” led by the wonderful old-timer LEO. The idea of the group is to discuss how each of seeks God in our lives. The lead speaker reads their favorite passage on that topic from the BB and then talks about how the passages relates to their story and recovery. Delightful group of people, relaxed, lots of laughs, lots of spiritual wisdom.
ID: 895 8026 2681
Password 865077
Wednesday’s at 12:15 I host the Men’s Hilton Zoom edition. This is an offshoot of the meeting that has met physically in downtown Boston for 3 plus years but is totally separate. Speaker, discussion. We generally have 25-30 guys. Been mixing up guys with tons of experience with relative newcomers. Meeting has a reputation brutal honesty among men which is powerful.
Zoom ID 497 422 1938
Password – Hilton (capital H)
Thursday nights 7-8 pm a great promises/gratitude meeting with a bunch of folks from New Zealand
https://us04web.zoom.us/j/824696130?pwd=amlmTkM4djM3TUVTb1FOVkJNOUw2Zz09
Friday at noon there is a great COED BBSS meeting 12-1. I often have conflicts at that time but I have heard good things about the meeting and it is run by my buddy Tom for AZ. It’s generally the BBSS I recommend to women looking for a BBSS meeting since it’s COED.
848 703 1767 PWD HrPwr
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Tom Matlack | Father, Husband, Sober Seeker of Spiritual Enlightenment
There are a ton of recovery memoirs. Remember that addiction is a disease of denial (lying). As an alcoholic my memory is not to be trusted. Here are the three recovery memoirs that you must read because they tell the truth.
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This post was previously published on LINKEDIN.COM and is republished on Medium.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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