I found myself sitting in a Safeway parking lot on a Friday night. — Dazed behind the wheel, staring at an aluminum can gleaming under the streetlight.
I sat there, wondering if I should pick it up or not.
And who was going to see me if I did?
The overwhelming urge to add an extra five cents to my recycling collection made me question my whole existence that night.
I knew something had to change.
…
I Was Ready (For Change)
I remember sitting in my car that night feeling burnt out, beat down, fed up, and any other cliche you can think of. Never having enough money to live comfortably was exhausting.
The kids were getting older, life was getting more expensive, and I was tired of having to choose between so many want and needs. My husband and I work our asses off to do the right thing. But in reality, credit cards had been keeping us afloat for years now.
As grateful as I am for all the good in my life, figuring out how to survive on one income was keeping me up at night. Money wasn’t stretching as far as it used to, and I was spreading myself too thin to make up for it.
Thirteen years of marriage, two healthy kids, and thirty thousand dollars in debt later, I started to wonder what I was doing wrong.
…
Mom by Day, Dasher by Night
I didn’t pick up the can that night. I blew ten years’ worth of dust off my resume and started to reinvent myself.
I got into the restaurant business when I was seventeen. — It had been good to me. Still, I swore I would never go back after I resigned from my last position. My son was a busy toddler at the time. I was with him during the day and a server/bartender by night at an upscale bistro.
It was one of the busiest places in town, and I was stressed out AF.
I will always have a soft spot for the restaurant biz. It made the most sense when I thought of going back to work. Fast cash, flexible schedule, and the most important thing was that I was experienced.
Making money on my own terms outweighed the unsettling feeling of taking a step back.
I was ravenous for change.
…
I picked up an application at my favorite sushi restaurant and kept the momentum going by signing on with Door Dash.
I was a “Dasher” for four days.
Day one was the most stressful three hours of my adult life. (And I have two kids). Day two was fun, fast-paced, and felt like I had found my SAHM side hustle.
I was golden.
Or so I thought.
A guy backed into my car on day three. To be fair, we were both leaving, and our trunks crunched together in the middle of the parking lot. A drunk driver rear-ended on day four, and my epic Door Dash career came to a screeching halt.
We both walked away from the collision with minor injuries. I was grateful for the whole Door Dash experience. It humbled me in a way that only delivering people’s food can do.
Getting in two accidents in four days was a sign.
A huge flashing neon one that I was meant to do more in this world than what I was doing.
I heard the Universe screaming at me to make changes. The message was loud. It wasn’t until it hit me from behind that it became clear.
…
Okay, Now What?
I knew I wanted more for my family. I wanted more for myself. I wanted to be more than the mom so consumed by stress that I let my kid’s childhood pass me by.
There had to be a better way to balance life.
I started reevaluating my finances and vowed to see more green in my Mint app. I canceled my gym membership, started drying more clothes outside and quit writing on Medium for a while to save five dollars. (worst idea ever) I pinched pennies everywhere I could, but it still wasn’t enough.
Taking my credit card out of the freezer was inevitable.
It had been a while since I saw a Microsoft spreadsheet. I don’t remember the last time I wore nylons. — My skills in the previous ten years had been wiping butts, boogers, and barf.
Ugh. What could I possibly be qualified to do?
It came down to one simple question. (Okay, two)
What am I good at? And how can I use those skills to earn a living?
…
Taking Care Of People Is My Jam
I hadn’t spoken to my Aunt in years. One afternoon she called me out of the blue. While we were catching up, she started telling me about her job as a Caregiver.
I had toyed with the idea of becoming a nurse. I also had thoughts about winning the lotto someday.
It went something like this:
How cool would that be? Eh. It will never happen.
(shrug)
It wasn’t until I ran into a friend a few weeks later that I decided to do something about it. She was telling me about how she was able to balance her CNA job and her kid’s school schedule.
Yes! THAT’S what I want!
It was another sign. This time, I went for it.
I put the final touches on my resume, started applying and crossed my fingers. I got two phone calls within minutes and the rest, I suppose, is history.
I’m so far away from where I want to be, but closer to it than I’ve ever been. In the meantime, I’m getting paid to do what I was put on this earth for. — To be a good human and care for people.
. . .
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Previously published on Medium.com.
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