“It’s only one more mouth at meals, another load of laundry, some time listening, advising and making sure the kid is OK.”
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Many of us (me included) are very unhappy and frustrated with the current state of the world. We seem to live in a very cynical age of rudeness and mediocrity, blind ideology, hate and violence and a general state of insecurity and fear of bad things to come, real or imagined.
The question we all (I’m a diehard optimist) struggle with is: What can we do? How can we engage and make a difference? Can we actually have an impact in world where billionaires and corporations with endless amounts of money buy and sell politicians, elections, legislation and votes?
And the clear and definite answer–my friends and fellow travelers–is a resounding YES. We can all make a difference for the better in our immediate environment, and if we do, the whole world would get so much better and all our lives would improved substantially.
But before we get to the story of how it is done, and by way of an illustration how this is neither a new or an untested idea, let me tell you about Room for One More, the 1952 movie staring Cary Grant and Betsy Drake (his on-screen wife who was also his real-life wife at the time).
In the movie, Grant and Drake play a middle class couple with three children of their own who end up fostering/adopting two troubled kids, rescuing them from misery and potential suicide and disaster respectively. Although “Poppy”, the Cary Grant character, is initially reluctant to open his home to “one more” he quickly gets with the program and shows that underneath he was always on board.
Whether life imitates art or the other way around, is debatable. Real life, since it’s real, is always so much more satisfying, and so it our story.
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N and O (names withheld to protect the innocent and the private) have been friends of mine for years. N worked for me years ago and almost got herself fired, twice (it was only the combination of her brilliance and charm and my solid belief in redemption that kept her at the job, all of us the better for it). N & O have three kids of their own, in addition to two rescued dogs and three rescued cats—and my sincere apologies if I forgot someone, as it is hard to tell sometimes.
Last Saturday I was invited to their house for a BBQ, only to find out that they have been raising a young African girl (M) from Senegal as kid #4 (obviously I did not know them as well as I thought and this is a testament to their modesty and maturity). It turns out that around 10 years ago, O engaged the services of a personal trainer, a young man from Senegal, to help him and later N get back to fighting shape. T (for trainer) had a daughter back home (whose mother passed away) which he spent years trying to get over to the US. As admirable as it was that he wanted his daughter with him, he unfortunately did not turn out to be a great dad nor any good at managing his finances. As a result M was frequently without a home resorting to sleeping in the car, at the gym or crashing at friends houses, always one tiny step away from the streets.
Seeing that M, a statuesque 6’2 basketball protégé, was often left to fend for herself, N & O decided to step in. Following in the fictitious footsteps of Cary Grant and Betsy Drake, and in spite of facing their own financial difficulties, they took M in and have been providing her with a home, love, support, parenting and TLC.
What would have been a common tragic story of neglect and a wasted life is now a thriving young women a year away from college on a full scholarship and a bright future. In N’s words “it’s only another mouth at meals, another load of laundry, some time listening, advising and making sure the kid is alright.”
Obviously it is much more than that and some of us might not think we are up to the task. However, as with most challenges it’s clearly doable and with a little effort, care and financial investment, a life was saved and a bight future assured.
N & O are not interested in praise or thanks. They are leading by example, paying it forward and doing what they believe is the right thing to do with the knowledge that if they didn’t do it, there is no one else who will and M would be lost.
They should, however, be applauded, and emulated and their example followed by all of us. If each of us does just a little in our immediate environment, lend a helping hand, engage in a small cause, contribute a little time and money (if we can), and spread a little TLC and support, the world would be much better for all of us and our civilization and our lives much richer for the contribution we made.
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Photo [main]: iwearyourshirt /Flicker Photo2: Room for One More movie poster /public domain
Thanks for the support and from one who knows me well. I completely believe each one of us can make a huge difference around us and as a result change the world for the better. N&O inspire me.
Terrific upbeat piece. I for one am happy to hear positive stories like this one! Great writing and observations. Sincerely, ex-wife of T