There are people who have come into my life that I see as angels. People who bring something so special and pure and unforgettable, that they completely changed the trajectory of my life. Uncle Tommy was one of those people.
I’ve shared in a previous article that Uncle Tommy introduced me to martial arts as a young man when I was having a hard time at school and it gave me a path toward self-mastery and self-confidence.
Uncle Tommy came to every one of my football games in high school – made friends with the players and coaches and video taped each game and made a beautiful movie out of the footage.
Uncle Tommy also deeply believed in my potential as a musician and songwriter and supported me every step of the way in my music career. And if you haven’t heard – the music industry is pretty competitive and there are plenty of opportunities to give up or lose faith. Tommy would not let me.
Tommy was a wonderful musician in his own right. He wrote hundreds of songs in every genre from blues to latin to country and easy listening. He would play his songs for the family at our Christmas gatherings or in car rides.
Tommy was always hoping for a breakthrough in his music career that never came – the big publishing or record deal, or the name artist who’d take one of his songs and make it a hit. I understand this drive from the bottom of my heart – because I have the exact same one. We recognized this in each other and it always brought us closer together.
Toward the end of his life when he was dying from cancer – Tommy continued to play his music, but he started to shift his hopes and dreams and support toward me and my career. Any time I spoke with him, the conversation was mainly based on how much he loved my music and also on strategy for how I could take the next step in my career. Mostly he gave me love and support and reassurance.
FAST FORWARD to last night. I was having dinner with my wife and my two boys. We were all at the table with the Los Angeles summer evening light coming through the window. And I was filled with a sudden wave of gratitude and nostalgia. I felt gratitude for my wife and two boys, and I deeply felt Uncle Tommy’s presence in the room.
Later, once the boys were down, I shared that feeling with my wife and we began to reminisce about Uncle Tommy.
In particular, we spoke of the very last time I got to talk to him. It was on Facetime. I’d just been to visit Tommy in San Francisco as it was becoming clear that the end was near. I spent two days with him and we talked and hugged and shared space.
Then, around seven or eight on a Sunday evening I got a call from him on Facetime. He looked different and he could barely speak. But he was desperately trying to tell me something.
I was so overwhelmed by emotion that all I could say was “I love you too Tommy. I love you so much.” Then he had to leave. And that was the last time I’d ever get to speak to him.
Last night my wife shared something with me. A revelation. She said, “today I was driving with the boys and we were listening to your music. And I felt Uncle Tommy – and I think I know what he was trying to tell you the last time you spoke.”
What? I said.
“Keep playing your music. Don’t stop.”
This hit me like a ton of bricks. Oh my god. Is that what he was trying to tell me?
There’ve been times lately, as a husband and father of two young boys, that the idea of continuing on a path of being a career full time musician has felt absolutely freaking bonkers. Like “what on God’s green earth am I doing?”
And yet, it’s in my heart and soul and one of the deepest parts of who I am.
Uncle Tommy knew this (knows this) and that may have been his final piece of advice and encouragement for me. DON’T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS. LIVE THEM TO THEIR FULLEST. GIVE IT EVERYTHING YOU HAVE. DO – NOT – GIVE – UP.
The song I have for you today is the one of mine that probably was Tommy’s favorite. It’s about young love and endless possibilities. It’s called Saturday Night. I hope you like it…
https://youtu.be/GOFigxwHx14?si=rC7vFeymPyUBxYiM
Ari Welkom, known on stage as Avatari, is an LA-based alt-rock singer and actor. A Harvard graduate, married father of two, and former college athlete, he practices martial arts and champions anti-bullying, equal rights, and unity on his journey of recovery. Follow him on Instagram or Twitter (X)!
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: Author
