Edie Weinstein has a definite case of shoe envy after participating in a fun and light hearted activity, focusing on a dark and serious topic.
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A few weeks ago, I wrote an article for The Good Men Project in anticipation of an event called Walk A Mile In Her Shoes at which I was asked to be a speaker. I was honored to be involved with the day long community project that brought together people from ‘all walks of life’. Straight (but not narrow) men, openly Gay men, as well as women and children showed up, for the purpose of speaking out about violence against women. As I am writing this, my heart is happy even thought my legs and feet are not smiling. While blisters and aches are plaguing me at the moment, somewhere inside, my body intuitively knows it was for a good cause, so I suspect they are complaining less vociferously than they might have otherwise. Yesterday I went shoe shopping to pick out just the right pair for the occasion. I admit that a few I tried on originally would have done a drag queen proud, but I fell off of them. I whittled my way down and settled on a pair of silver sandals that had a sloping heel. Even they were clearly too much for this woman who prefers being as close to the ground as possible, as I turned my ankles a few times throughout the day that began at 5:30 a.m. and ended when I arrived home a few hours before writing this.
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The recipient of the money raised from Walk A Mile Chester County, is the Domestic Violence Center of Chester County.
Prior to the walk beginning, one of the participants who had just arrived with his teen age son and was putting on his spikes, confided in me that he had been an abuse survivor and shared “It’s not just women who are abused and not just men who are perpetrators.” During my presentation, I reminded the crowd of that fact.
Eric Mitchell shared his take on the difference one degree of change can make, by using the metaphor of the boiling point of water which is 212 degrees Farenheit (100 degrees Celsius). One degree less than that, and it doesn’t boil. Eric encouraged the walkers to take that step and be that change.
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The message I conveyed was that abuse not only demeans those who are the recipients, but the perpetrators as well. It is multi-generational and so is the solution. Although the aphorism “Hurt people, hurt people,” may seem so, it need not be. Awareness of patterns of behaviors, decisions to choose another way to heal the original wounds other than turning to addictions or violence, breaking the cycle by refraining from harming another or themselves, speaking out and stepping up, teaching our children that they matter and are valuable and loved, will impact on the generations that follow. I urged them to go out into their communities and live this message and watch the ripple effect take form.
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Others who took the stage included Ray Hurst whose work involves what he calls A Father’s Blessing in which he offers to men and women the love and affirmation that they may not have received from their own fathers.
Ray with our wonderful photographer Tonnie Seery.
Eric Mitchell of the Parisi Speed School shared his take on the difference one degree of change can make, by using the metaphor of the boiling point of water which is 212 degrees Farenheit (100 degrees Celsius). One degree less than that, and it doesn’t boil. Eric encouraged the walkers to take that step and be that change. He then led them in a thigh shaking, muscle twitching mini-workout warm up and reminded them that it is important to be comfortable with discomfort.
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It helps to have a friend to lean on.
All manner of attire was appropriate for the experience of strutting their stuff.
I was impressed that this man could strap on his heels while balancing on one foot.
The seemingly tireless director of the event is Christina Whinnery, whose energy level is remarkable, as she took into consideration the dynamics of all of the fine details and saw it through to tremendous success.
Maureen Finney was one of our dedicated volunteers who cheered the walkers on throughout.
My soul and soles are sighing in satisfaction for a job well done.
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At the beginning of the race, determined to finish, despite strutting on heels that were an unaccustomed accoutrement, these men were admirable. They laughed and some commented that they didn’t know how women managed to balance on them and others literally ran part of the course, seemingly sans fear of breaking bones.
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Decadent delights awaited us.
Who is that masked woman?
My soul and soles are sighing in satisfaction for a job well done.
Photo credit: Edie Weinstein, Maureen Finney
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Good morning Edie. I appreciate your efforts and you cause and I don’t want to minimize in any way. But when I think of Earl, whom I knew, and the struggles he went through, it’s disheartening. But you made a good point and an example of what I struggle with and that’s a “mention” opposed to it being an equal part. I remember the first article and I made light of the issue by asking if women were going to wear steel toed shoes. In the case of “walk a mile in “her” shoes,” would it have been much of… Read more »
It does have that we’re technically for everyone or at least realize that we’ll get criticized and maybe lose support if we don’t at least say that we are, but we would rather not be type of feel.
I am with you both in your feelings about male abuse survivors too. Did you read the part of the article in which I mentioned that? It is no more acceptable for women to abuse men than for men to abuse women. There are both male and female perpetrators and male and female survivors of abuse. As a therapist, I have worked with both. I know that there is a societal stigma attached to being a male survivor. Violence against anyone is unacceptable. The men and women who came out for this event stood up for everyone.
A quick note, he passed away April of 2013
Sorry but I get an ill feeling when I read this. All I think of is “Earl Silverman, the owner of Canada’s only shelter for male victims of domestic abuse, killed himself Friday, according to several media reports.
Silverman was found hanging in the garage of his own home in northeast Calgary, where he had run the Men’s Alternative Safe House (MASH). He had just sold the property because he could no longer afford to operate the shelter, The National Post reports.” Where was HIS support?
Same here. I’ll walk in heels when women do a “Live on the street to raise awareness for male victimhood” kind of thing.
they aren’t even comparable. This can’t even be taken seriously. It’s hard to take one seriously when they use their emotions for justification for something. I understand that there are a lot of emotional men out there like Diz who find what they feel should be a measure for what’s right and wrong without regard for the use of logic and reason. But to those who employ logic will clearly see and understand that these two things aren’t even in the same realm. I would like to see a campain of “walk in his shoes” for military conscription. Even though… Read more »
“they aren’t even comparable.”
Hi Lynn, I’m going to respectfully disagree with your assertion.
“The most comprehensive review of the scholarly domestic violence research literature ever conducted concludes, among other things, that women perpetrate physical and emotional abuse, and engage in control behaviors, at comparable rates to men. The study was directed by the Editor-in-Chief of Partner Abuse, a Springer Publishing Company journal.”
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2013/5/prweb10741752.htm
On top of that child abuse is more male targeted, and men and experience sexual victimization at similar rates.
And after that men experience all over forms of abuse and victimization at greater rates than women.
“Homelessness is not caused by an entity that is NOT you that is forcing something on YOU without your approval/consent”.
I disapprove of state funded discriminatory domestic violence shelters that leave men no choice but to stay in an abusive home, or be forced to leave through false accusations and go homeless.
Nice whataboutery, Lynn.