However, the questions may be different for each person and may rely on the circumstances as well as the amount of information that you already know about the person up to that moment.
So, let’s imagine that up until this point, you and your first date have just exchanged a few short messages via text, and you haven’t had any in-depth talks with each other in which you’ve been able to determine how you do and do not have things in common.
It is important to avoid making it sound like an interrogation, so rather than focusing on straight questions, let’s have a look at some conversation starters.
The First Topic of Discussion:
You might want to consider having a conversation about your childhood aspirations and how they influenced your outlook on life.
Have you matured into the person you envisioned yourself to be when you were a child?
If you want your date to participate in the conversation, avoid going into too much depth and instead keep it light and engaging. Instead of asking your date, “so, what are your hobbies?” try approaching the conversation from this aspect instead. It will give you a far clearer picture of their personality and disposition.
If you go about things in this manner, you will be able to learn what aspects of life are important to your date, what aspects are non-negotiable, and whether or not you find them appealing on a deeper level or merely on the surface.
Starter for a Conversation 2
Test out your date’s sense of humor (and intelligence). Irony and sarcasm, so long as they are not overused, have the potential to be humorous, but only for those who pick up on them.
Tell your date anything that makes you laugh and see whether they have the same reaction. If sarcasm isn’t your thing, then tell them something that you find humorous.
Instead of asking them “what kind of jokes do you like?” or other queries regarding their sense of humor, you should use this approach instead because it is a more natural way to draw out their feelings.
You will quickly discover whether or not your respective senses of humor are compatible with one another.
The Third Item to Start a Conversation
The third conversation starter does the conversation. In this scenario, you will need to wait and provide your date with the opportunity to initiate a discussion.
You’ve provided instances and gleaned useful information from your date; nevertheless, there’s one more important aspect that you need to be aware of, and that shows your date intends to initiate a discussion when it’s their turn.
Will they be able to exhibit interest when it’s their turn and come up with something intriguing to say when it comes around?
As soon as there is an uneasy pause between the two of you, it is possible that you have taken too much control of the discussion or that your date doesn’t have much to say. Find out as quickly as possible, because you can’t be the only one talking about this.
Instead of starting a discussion with direct questions, there are a ton of other kinds of conversation starters you can utilize.
You should keep in mind that beginning a discussion with a very specific topic can be just as obvious as asking a question; therefore, if you don’t want to appear overly inquisitive or even nosy, keep it layered; you’ll still obtain the answers you need from your date’s reactions.
Feel free to tell us what your first date went.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
 White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
 Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
