Sex and Your Dog

Alan Katz was sitting in his bathtub and was thinking about his date. He hadn’t seen Lisa Mandel for over fifteen years. They had dated on a very regular basis and then it ended. It was game over. He had never figured out why neither of them had reached out to the other.

There was no argument, no discussion, it just came to a slow end. One day he didn’t called her, she never called him and the relationship fizzled out in front of his eyes.

As he sat in the tub thinking about Lisa he realized he never took her for dinner, he never took her anywhere nice, it was truly bizarre. They did spend a lot of time in bed often during the day. She would come over, spend a couple of hours, not say a whole lot and leave. The relationship was based on sex. It should have been glorious but it was vanilla.

It was while shopping at a new grocery store called The Olive Branch that Alan had run into Lisa. At first they looked at each other like strangers then they embraced. Alan immediately asked if she was married, and she shook her head ‘’Nope, still dating.’’ Alan understood, he was in the same boat. ‘’Would you be interested in going out for dinner?’’ Lisa smiled, ‘’Yeah.’’ She was still a woman of very little words. They made plans to meet at Linguini’s for dinner at 8:00 pm on Thursday night. Alan offered to pick her up, but Lisa said it would be better if she drove to the restaurant herself. Linguini’s was a local Thornhill restaurant and the food was always excellent.

After his bath, Alan took a nice luxuriating shower and made sure the house was nice and tidy. He left for the restaurant feeling nervous and excited. It had been a long time since they had last gone out.

Alan arrived at the restaurant first and was seated at a table near the back, which oozed privacy. Lisa came in a few minutes later and walked over to him and smiled. She was wearing black pants and a white shirt. ‘’Thanks for the invite.’’ She sat down and Alan asked if she wanted wine or a drink. She smiled ‘’Naw, I’m driving. So nice to see you.’’

The waiter came over and Alan asked Lisa if she liked Bruschetta. She said she did, so he ordered a plate. They looked at each other in semi-silence. ‘’So, Lisa what have you been up to the last few years, it’s been a while.’’ She shrugged her shoulders. ‘’Same kind of stuff as always. I’m going to retire from teaching next year’’ Alan nodded, he never knew she was a teacher. How did she get off so many hours during the day. She looked over at him. ‘’I’ve seen enough kids go through Nursery School. Some of them are married now.’’

The waiter took their food orders. Alan asked for Pasta Primavera, and Lisa requested Veal Parmigiana. ‘’What about you Alan, are you still a Doctor?’’ This caught Alan by surprise. He was in Advertising. ‘’Uh, I’m actually still in Advertising, adjusting to the digital world.’’ She nodded, there was silence again. It was a flashback to when they dated. They really didn’t have anything to say to each other. Lisa took the last piece of bruschetta.

Alan sipped his wine and Lisa concentrated on chewing her food. Alan started talking, ‘’So, it has been a very long time. What do you think happened to us. We used to see each other regularly and then it just stopped.’’

Lisa took a sip of water before she answered. ‘’You really don’t know do you?’’ Alan had a blank look on his face, ‘’Nope, you just kind of disappeared.’’

The food was delivered and Lisa kept looking at her plate than at Alan’s face. It was as if she had something to say but didn’t know how to say it. ‘’I thought you knew.’’

The food was excellent. ‘’Seriously Lisa, I really liked you and then you just vanished.’’ She chewed on a piece of veal as she answered. ‘’You didn’t look too hard, but I also knew I couldn’t see you anymore.’’ Alan was completely intrigued, what had he done. His pasta was perfect. She then giggled, ‘’By the way you look good bald.’’

As he slowly finished his pasta, Alan tried to think if he ever asked Lisa to do anything she didn’t want to do in bed and the truth was he hadn’t. She was very quiet as she finished her meal. The waiter came over and Lisa asked for a green tea while Alan asked for a cappuccino. ‘’Lisa, I have to know, it’s going to drive me crazy. What did I do to upset you. I mean you not wanting to see me anymore was pretty serious. I’m so sorry for upsetting you.’’

Lisa sat back in her chair. She was a very quiet woman and it seemed to take strength for her to share what she wanted to say. ‘’I knew you liked me, but you loved your Beagle more, what was his name ‘’Otis.’’ You carried him up and down the stairs. You let him stay in the room when we had sex. You let him eat my underwear. He ate the crotch out of every pair that I ever took off at your place. Those were expensive panties. You once had sex, then you took him out so he could poop. Then you came back, got back undressed and wanted more sex. You once told me I had to leave because you needed to take him for a walk. Once, I said we should put him in a different room cause he watched me when we were in bed and you refused because you didn’t want him to be lonely. The final straw was we had sex, and you said ‘’That was good, I need to go feed Otis now. No cuddling, nothing.’’ You never really cared about my feelings, you only cared about that stupid dog.’’

Alan felt shocked because everything Lisa said was true. He had loved Otis and felt lost when he passed. It had been two years and he still missed his old friend like crazy.

The waiter brought the tea and cappuccino. Lisa passed on dessert and Alan did the same. She looked at her watch. ‘’It has been really nice catching up with you Alan. It’s getting late, I have to go home.’’ He felt odd. On the one hand he could have invited her back to his place on the other, where would that lead, back to the same cycle of uninvolved sex. ‘’Lisa, you were always great and I’ll never forget you. You had a tremendous impact on my life.’’

She drank her tea and stood up. ‘’You’re a good guy. I just could have lived without your panty thieving dog. I don’t know if I impacted on your life, but we had some nice times. Maybe we’ll run into each other again some time. Thanks for dinner, do you want me to give you some money?’’ Alan stood up and walked over to her. He gave her a light kiss on the cheek. He whispered into her ear, ‘’No I don’t need money, but thank you. I enjoyed your company. Are you interested in coming back to my place for dessert?’’ She looked at him and a slight smile crossed her lips. ‘’I would but I don’t think it’s a good idea. It was great seeing you, but I need something more serious than a hump every week. I did like dinner. Take Care Alan.’’ She walked away and he sat back down.

He felt a sense of relief. He didn’t know when he’d see Lisa again, but at least he knew why the relationship had ended. It was all because of Otis. He should have also been a bigger mensch and taken Lisa’s feelings into account. He could have bought her her some new panties.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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