Sexual polarity is a concept which states that sexual tension or sexual attraction is created by opposing masculine and feminine qualities in two people regardless of their gender.
The masculine qualities can be a person’s willingness to lead and handle decision-making, their urge to communicate thoughts and ideas bluntly, and their tendency to think logically.
Conversely, the feminine qualities can be a person’s inclination to act submissive, emotional, intuitive, and to stay focused on bonding and cultivating deeper and richer relationships.
Both masculine and feminine qualities are created, shaped, and influenced by two fundamental factors: biology and society. Our unique biology at birth grants us our first set of masculine and feminine qualities, while society influences and shapes them further.
The general consensus of sexual polarity goes like this: masculine qualities attract feminine qualities and vice versa (the end result is high sexual attraction), while two of the same qualities rebut each other (the end result is no sexual attraction).
Think of the concept in terms of magnets. Two magnets of the opposite poles attract, while two magnets of identical poles repel.
The confusion occurs when people realize that they possess both aspects of sexual polarity in them — the masculine and the feminine.
This stark realisation usually makes them ask, “how do I keep someone who’s, let’s say, feminine attracted to me if I also have feminine qualities? Won’t that cause imbalance in our relationship?”
This question brings us to our first dilemma.
While it’s true that we hold a mixed bag of both masculine and feminine qualities, we are always dominated only by one side. And that side is the one that counts and therefore, polarises the other person.
Let’s unpack this concept further.