She Said No to Your Date Request. Disliking Her Is Not the Answer

No!

When you ask someone a question, they can tell you yes or no. For so long, the idea of “no” has stopped us from taking action. I have been learning to accept rejection and disappointments.

With every rejection, you can become bolder or more afraid to ask. To welcome no’s with a positive attitude requires a reframing strategy. It helps you accept the person’s response. Process your emotions and discover a way to have a relationship despite the earlier awkwardness.

I know; it is difficult. Some replies stay with you for life. But here are ways you can use to avoid hating someone who rejected you.

…

1. A lesson from Squidward

Many people don’t look past Squidward’s grumpiness.

But Squidward has one inspiring quality. He has low expectations. He goes into situations with low hopes, which helps him be indifferent about the outcome. An outcome has a lower emotional impact on me when I care about it less. When you care too much, you give your power away to someone else.

Try not to consider only an exciting date. Think about the fun you can have even if the person says no. If you don’t go out with the woman, you can hang with your guys. If the date never happens, you can treat yourself or repurpose the funds you would have spent.

…

2. The lesson from playing UNO!

Have you ever played the card game UNO!?

Have you ever sacked someone with 2+ and 4+ wild cards? Your ego gets a tremendous boost as you watch the person’s hand fill up with cards. But then you get an unexpected reaction. Rather than respond with anger, your fellow card player thanks you.

In the same way, you can thank the woman for her rejection. You got the gift of clarity. So, there is no waiting for a reply or wondering if you have a chance. You know with certainty that you should move on.

…

Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free

3. Consider a way forward

It helps to know how you will move forward if the woman says no.

Will you block the person on social media?

Will you pretend to move on and harbor feelings for them?

It takes time for your romantic feelings for someone to become neutral. Sometimes, these love and lust emotions don’t go away. It takes time and separation to learn how to interact with the person as a friend or stranger again.

…

Thank you for reading my article. I’m a relationship and side hustle writer, and I aim to provide content to help you achieve your love and money goals. If you’d like to join Medium and support me at no extra cost, please click here.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***