THOUGHTFUL FUTURE
“Emotion is a communication tool. Anger serves a communicative purpose albeit a very poorly understood one.” Christopher Knight Lopez, International Best-Selling Author.
Not A Member of Medium?
Read this article for free by clicking here.
WHAT IS ANGER?
An infant throws a fit when it is hungry. A toddler collapses hysterically when it’s time to stop playing. A youth punches another in the face when the other youth is heckled. A woman slaps a man who insults her. A man breaks a chair when someone refuses to comply.
These people have one thing in common.
They lack words.
Anger is a form of communication. Most think it is something else. It isn’t.
COMPLEX IDEAS WITHOUT VOCABULARY
How does one express disappointment with their spouse’s effort despite an outcome that is positive? How does one express feelings of rejection to a person who has good intentions about their actions and honesty believes their actions are beneficial to the person feeling rejected?
These are complex ideas. It is natural to lack proper words to communicate effectively with complex ideas like these. We know how to say we’re hurt. We can find the words to express regret.
Sometimes we can’t find the words to explain these feelings.
The words we choose to say and the words people comprehend are often different. Many forget communication is not about fancy words. Communication is about effective comprehension.
WHAT ANGER CAN SAY
Anger often says very direct things. Often very clearly. I’ll write some.
*You don’t understand me! So, I’m going to stop talking and show you!*
*You hurt me! Let me show you how much!*
*You won’t listen. So I’ll make you!*
Actions communicate. Sometimes more powerful than words.
REMEMBER COMMUNICATION IS ABOUT UNDERSTANDING
You might feel like anger tells someone what you feel. It often doesn’t. The space between impulse and reaction is where we find choice.
There is a choice between talking so someone can understand and impulsively talking without regard for understanding.
Find ways to communicate effectively. What matters is what someone understands. What you want to say doesn’t. Being right often doesn’t matter. What matters is understanding.
EGO THE GREAT DIVIDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You must rid yourself of ego to embark on the question of communication for explanation. It requires abandonment of rightness. It means you disregard wrongness. Clear communication requires an open mind to understand.
Affirming a valid point does not mean agreeing with that valid point.
Telling someone their logic makes sense doesn’t mean you support their logic.
Acknowledging what a person said does not mean repeating their statements back is endorsement of their position.
Learn how to communicate. Most of you are just talking.
CLOSING VERSE
The Final Testament. The Holy Quran. Sura [45:23].”Have you noted the one whose god is his ego? Consequently, GOD sends him astray, despite his knowledge, seals his hearing and his mind, and places a veil on his eyes. Who then can guide him, after such a decision by GOD? Would you not take heed?”
IN CLOSING
Sign up for free to listen free of charge to my chapter in “Many Paths To Profit” to read about how I look at things. My dynamic form of observing and reframing will help you to accomplish things like what we have discussed in today’s article. I have a free podcast called Hustle Kick as well which teaches you how to hustle for free.
You can pick up a copy of my international best-selling and award winning book, “I Made It Then I Didn’t” as well for a deeper insight on some of the psychology I use to take me through difficult circumstances.
This article is meant to provoke thought — not argument. It’s a way of opening up the mind to alternative ideologies based on what one reads — not what one hears. The belief is personal and of course I respect everyone’s personal beliefs. I condemn no one for choosing whatever path — as clearly I mean to choose my own.
To Your Knowledge Success!
Sources
1) The life of Christopher Knight Lopez a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”.
2) As Hyperlinked throughout the article.
Enjoy the read? Reward the writer.
Your tip will go to Christopher Lopez through a third-party platform of their choice, letting them know you appreciate their story.
Sign Up for Medium Today! Gain unlimited access to all my articles and thousands of premium quality articles today.
Not a form of investment advice. Please consult a professional registered to give you advice about your individual circumstance. This is not formal counseling or a form of psychology. Please consult a licensed therapist or psychiatrist for psychological concerns. Please do not email the author about advice on investing or strategies on making investments. This article is for educational purposes and entertainment purposes only.
About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller, Award Winner of the December 2024 prestigious International Impact Book Awards — a premier award program dedicated to celebrating and recognizing the exceptional work of authors around the globe and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”. He is also a Co-Author with Kevin “The Shark” Harrington “Many Paths To Profit”. See more at www.christopherklopez.com.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
Love relationships? We promise to have a good one with your inbox.
Subcribe to get 3x weekly dating and relationship advice.
Did you know? We have 8 publications on Medium. Join us there!
***
–
Photo credit: Sophia Richards On Unsplash
