There are groups of young men and women out there who are searching for their “perfect date,” but in the current culture, asking someone on a date is awkward, frightening, and unproductive. The hookup culture is approaching a near takeover of college life across the nation because it is easy. Simply put, most college students go out to bars or house parties and find someone they want to hook up with. If they succeed, it is at this exact point that the man might decide to take the girl on a date. This is the culture, whether you agree with it or not.
However, there are college men out there looking for meaningful relationships whose efforts are deterred because the college dating culture does not align with their goals. These men find themselves in situations where success is almost impossible. So what do these guys do? Should they wait until after college when dating becomes more of a possibility? Or should they keep looking for the perfect date at their school to no avail? People who find themselves in this category of college students are starting to turn to online dating.
The Global Post reported that 18% of people between 18 to 29 are online dating. In fact, they reported that college students who “wish to avoid the bar scene and get into a committed relationship,” are starting to turn to online dating as their solution. In a way, it sounds perfect. The men with long-term relationship goals can turn to online dating, and those who want to stay in the hookup culture can keep living that lifestyle. Two separate worlds that allow everyone to get exactly what they want.
Sadly, it does not work like this. There is simply too much pressure, but there are two main reasons why college men do not online date.
1. College Men Don’t Want To Be Judged
In college, there is constant pressure to be the superstar and men are often worried about their reputation. Pressure not to be known as the guy who cannot get his own date. Pressure that other students might judge you as weird due to your unwillingness to adhere to social norms. The fact is the majority of students are not online dating, so anything that is “different” will be treated with hostility. The fear of being judged affects a young man’s decisions more drastically than anyone could ever realize.
2. College Men Are Afraid Of What They’ll Find
Is online dating safe? Will I meet someone who is weird or dangerous? College men might not know anything about online dating because they have never had to do it. They might be afraid the people on the site will not have similar interests, and are only on the site out of desperation. This is less influential, because most people know that you can find the truth about almost anyone before meeting them.
Why This Reasoning is Ridiculous
In reality, a college male would most likely be judged if he had an online dating profile. This makes no sense due to one major application that has completely revolutionized the hookup culture: Tinder. In fact, many men consider it “cool” to hook up with girls on Tinder, making it even more popular.
Over 50 percent of the people using Tinder are college students, yet these students do not get judged and are not afraid to use the app. People trying to hookup with other students often use Tinder for short flings, strengthening the already prominent hookup culture. Tinder is a dating app. Although often used for “hooking up”, the app still forces you to make a dating profile and allows you chat with other people. So that means, students who are part of the hookup culture are using dating sites. So why then, would it be strange for a man looking for a serious relationship to use a dating site?
My point is not to bash on Tinder and its users, because it can be used in a productive way. However, online dating has become prominent in college through Tinder. Judging other men for using another platform to pursue their dating goals is downright absurd. Every man has a right to set his goals, and attain them in any way he sees productive and fitting.
Yes, It Is Okay.
Whether you’re a man who wants to date online or not, there is no reason to frown upon others for doing it. Although it may be frightening to begin online dating in college, it is important to keep a final goal in mind. The reason you want to online date is because you already are unhappy with your current dating life. Why then, would you not do everything you can to make yourself happy and improve your life? Any man, in college or not, cannot be judged by his desire to online date. A man can be judged on his efforts to achieve his goals, and he can grow through the adversity he faced while attempting to reach them.
To me it is frightening that a man would deny himself the possibility of a meaningful relationship out of fear of being judged. Many men are lucky enough to simply have run into the person they are looking for, but others are not. Others have to work harder, branch out, and try something new. So the answer is, yes, it is okay to online date during college, but there is a more important answer. That answer is no, do not let fear of judgement stand as a barrier between yourself and your goals. Looking back one day, you will not regret having an online dating profile, but you may regret not taking a risk out of fear.
Are you interested in online dating? Remember to check out these tips to make sure your profile is up to par. Please comment and let us know what you think and share with someone you think could use this advice!
Photo: Don Hankins/Flickr