Should You Quit Social Media?

“You didn’t know that so-and-so is pregnant?” — my friend asked, surprised — “It’s all over her Instagram.”

“No, I haven’t been there in a while…” I replied, and immediately had to explain, because these days, nobody deletes a Social Media app on their phone without a reason. It’s second nature to be there, and if you aren’t, there’s usually an explanation.

“It was just… annoying me”, is what I said to my friends whenever they came to me with stuff they assumed I’d seen on Instagram for the past four months, which, surprisingly, they didn’t do that many times. But it’s true. It was truly annoying me. Bumming me out, if you will.

It is said that one of the good aspects of Social Media is that it keeps you connected to people you’d otherwise lose touch with. I’m starting to disagree.

2020 hasn’t been the best year so far. While we still have a few months left to redeem it, the past eight or so, have been filled with fear, confusion, anger, anxiety, and negative emotions in general. One day, realizing that my scrolling was only adding to that, without giving it any thought, I deleted the app, and I haven’t gone on it since. Facebook had been long gone from my life and I never had Twitter.

Every so often, I delete some app for space because I temporarily need another one (I have a cheap phone), and then I install it back. I always installed it back. This time, I deleted Instagram, not for space, but because I was tired of everyone’s anger, fear, and, most of all, everyone’s delusion that they know what’s best. They’re right, everyone else is wrong. Do you disagree? You must be a terrible person.

Of course, it’s not everyone. And if you’re about to ask, as my friends did, “why not just unfollow the annoying ones?”, the answer is just that I can’t be bothered to do that. It was so much easier to just get off.

It wasn’t a process or a big decision, I just did it, thinking I’d be back in a day or two, but, for four months, I haven’t. Here’s why:

“So-and-so” who is pregnant is not my friend

She seems really nice and all, but we’ve never actually met, and I don’t remember why I even started following her. I think she’s an ex of a friend of an acquaintance of mine, who also went to school with my cousin. And she takes pretty pictures. I don’t really need to know about her life, though.

We are so used to being in each other’s business all the time that we almost think it’s essential. But the reality is that I didn’t miss any big news from being gone. I missed a couple of pieces of gossip about people from college, and they were later told to me anyway (and if they hadn’t, my life would remain unchanged).

If you think you get so much information from Social Media, I don’t blame you. It sure feels like it! But it doesn’t take too long to realize that none of it makes any impact on your life. And the small pieces of news from people I care about? They still tell me in the way they always did before: via text, phone call, or finally, after all those awful months in isolation, in person.

I feel like I care more

It was a strange realization, and it wasn’t made clear to me in an obvious way, but when I realized I knew more, not less from people I care about since not being on Social Media, I started to consider not going back at all.

Think of one of your friends. Do you wonder what they’re up to? No? Is it because you know that they just went on a bike ride last weekend? Okay, how do you know? Because they told you, or because you saw a picture of it?

After spending just a week not seeing pictures of anyone, I naturally started to wonder, so I started calling them. It was then that I realized, the reason I don’t talk to people I don’t see every day as much as I’d like to, is because I kind of always have a feeling that I’m in contact with them when, honestly, a lot of the time, I’m not. I know what they’re up to, I’m happy to see them (seemingly) happy, and that seems to do it.

Maybe I respond to their story, or they respond to mine, a few “hahas” are exchanged, and it feels like a conversation. It’s not.

It is said that one of the good aspects of Social Media is that it keeps you connected to people you’d otherwise lose touch with. I’m starting to disagree. I think it disconnects you from people you didn’t (and wouldn’t) lose touch with, while giving you the feeling that you’re still connecting with people you would (and did) leave behind.

There are more hours in the day

The most obvious consequence of quitting Social Media is that you’ll have more time. You knew that already, you don’t need me to tell you. I knew it too, yet, I never took the step. I don’t think I realized how much of a difference it would make.

I finish a day’s worth of tasks with time to spare, sometimes. No “let’s scroll for five minutes to relax” breaks will do that, as it was to be expected. I probably didn’t realize how much that all added up. I always thought I wasn’t much of a user (like any addict does) and, in the great scheme of things, and by looking at others around me, it’s true. I wasn’t much of a user, compared to them. But that’s not saying much!

I now carry a book with me everywhere I go. That’s not bragging — it’s not even anything to brag about — it’s what I always did before. As a child, as a teenager, and even as a young adult, before unlimited data and wifi everywhere, I always, always had a book under my arm. As with everything else I’ve said, I only noticed I was doing it after a while. It had been years since I had read so much and so fast because all the time I had to kill — even if I had a book with me — was spent on my phone.

I pack lighter now

The biggest “test” to my new found, Instagram-free lifestyle was summer vacation. My favorite thing about the app was always to post, not so much to follow, as it allowed me to create a sort of memory book over the years. In fact, I recall a friend of a friend that I don’t see often, asking me about my “constant travelling”. The thing is, unfortunately, I don’t travel contantly, but I do post almost exclusively when I travel (domestically, most of the time) or when I’m at a friends gathering. Those are the things that make me the happiest, and that I’m the most eager to share.

Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free

Quitting over quarantine wasn’t a huge challenge but for sure, whenever I’d be able to see people and go places again, I’d be back, eager to share my pretty pictures right?

Wrong. Thus far, at least. I’ve been traveling since it was first considered safe where I’m from (around July), and although I have taken instagrammable pictures, I don’t feel the urge to post. If anything, it made me realize that the photos were an intrinsic part of the travel plans, as I started packing significantly fewer outfits since not having the app. I still like to look pretty, but I’m no longer concerned with showing others how intersting and fun my life is, or woth looking my best for that highlight reel.

I recently opened Instagram and, surprise, surprise… I instantly realised how much I didn’t miss it.

I came back recently, the other day, though. I opened Instagram through the browser, and, surprise, surprise… I instantly realized how much I didn’t miss it. The dumb people I never think about, who think they’re influencers but have nothing of value to offer, the angry ones who want everyone to be as miserable as them… they are all still there, all still posting the same as they did before. I didn’t miss them a bit.

As for my friends, they’re all still there as well, but I didn’t miss them either. Because, you know, we’re friends. We regularly talk.

I’m not a fundamentalist, and I’m not saying I’m quitting for good. There are a lot of fun aspects I like about it, but for now, I’m better off without Social Media. I’m not here to tell you to quit either, but I’ll leave you with a challenge:

Whatever social media app you use the most, delete from your phone and see how long it takes you to install it back. Sometimes the old adage does hold true, and what’s out of sight is also out of mind.

I don’t know what the future holds, but for now, I couldn’t recommend it more.

—

Previously published on medium

*******************************

***