Showing Supremacy Is Not Love

They say love is power, but they forget that power can also wound.

For too long, I believed that love was akin to possession. Love was where one person would lead while the other followed. Since growing up, I had always heard things in my family like — “You must be obedient because that is what is ladylike,” or “you should learn to adjust without complaints.” They would later wrap the wound inflicted by these words by saying that this was their way of showing love. I had developed this mindset from a young age. I would go for emotionally unavailable, narcissistic men with a God complex because I had normalized this definition of love in my head.

I never knew back then that when someone says — ‘I love you’ and expects you to bend, shrink, or obey without question like a slave, that isn’t love. That’s supremacy wearing a soft disguise.

I realized that love isn’t supposed to be a crown that needs to be owned by force or a conquest. It is supposed to be an equal offering, where two hearts would meet halfway and connect on a deeper level, both free and both respected.

Supremacy thrives on the need to feel ‘above’. Love thrives on the desire to be ‘beside’.

So many of us confuse the two. We mistake control for care, and manipulation for passion. We stay despite the blatant disrespect because a part of us becomes convinced that chaos means that we matter to the other person, and thus, we strangle our peace of mind unknowingly. It is sad how we’ve been taught to romanticize being ruled.

From ‘romantic’ novels to movies, song lyrics, and dark patriarchal jokes, as well as reels on social media, our concept of love has been warped to a point where even abuse is seen as a symbol of love. Honestly, it infuriates me to know that the future generations are exposed to these things, and their fresh minds will absorb this darkness, mistaking it for love and romance. The cycle of trauma shall continue because no one truly bothers to think outside the box and bring about an actual change.

Love doesn’t demand that you lose your identity; it celebrates that you have one. It doesn’t fear your strength but admires it. It doesn’t say — “I know what’s best for you” but says, “What do you need?”

Supremacy silences, while love listens. Supremacy takes mercilessly, while love is a giver, and supremacy competes while love completes. If someone ever makes you, my dear readers, feel small or insignificant in the name of love, remember that love would never force you to kneel. It would hold your hand and lift you higher because the truth is simple — ‘love is not about winning, but about understanding.’

And anyone who confuses control with care has never really known what love truly feels like.

This is my first ever attempt at writing a blog and publishing it online. Kindly support me with claps and comments, and have a great day, dear readers!

©2025, PajamasAndPurrs