What a joy it is, as I walk through city streets in the steamy midwest summer, to have ‘Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)’ come on through the earbuds from my gloriously random playlist of ‘liked songs’.
This is what’s so brilliant about the shuffle feature. Whatever song comes on is not my choice. So the swarm of people walking around me can’t stop in their tracks, point at me, and blame me for listening to Christmas music in August.
Well, they can. And they might. It’s amazing how I see this playing out in my mind like a dystopian off-off-off-off-Broadway musical…
Every single one of them stops and glares at me before one of them — their leader, apparently — fires the accusation at me through a song sung in a strong duck-like Chicaaaago accent…
“Hey… You da one listenin’ to daaaat Christmas music? It’s summer, maaan.”
I have no idea how the leader can hear into my earbuds — especially while he has his in — but he can. Maybe he monitors the earbuds of everyone around him through his own earbuds. Maybe this is just what the leader does — polices music listening to ensure no Christmas tunes are played before Thanksgiving.
I’m in awe of his capabilities.
But neither he, nor they, have a case against me. After all, it’s not my choice. Mariah Carey Christmas music just HAPPENED to me.
“What can I say, boss?” I say back to the leader… “Shuffle magic.”
Mic drop. Solid line, right? I’m absolved of any guilt. I didn’t pull the trigger on this song. It was merely happenstance (I see it more as serendipity, but I won’t tell him/them this).
The leader gets it. He puts his earbuds back in along with the rest of the accusing masses. And we all continue merrily on our way. Fueled by shuffle magic.
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This post was previously published on Jonas Ellison’s blog and is republished here with permission from the author.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Jonas Ellison
