You do not say NO even when you want to
Here’s a reality check: You cannot please everyone in your life.
The only person you must bother to please is yourself. However, this is easier said than done. Not pleasing others requires you to say NO to things that do not align with your values, interests, and beliefs. Unfortunately, many people find it extremely hard to do so because
- either they fear conflict
- or they are scared of judgment.
But for your sanity, you have to learn to say NO. Being unable to do so implies that you have not yet learned the idea of maintaining healthy boundaries. As of result of it, you feel like a pushover and are often taken advantage of by other people.
This behavior is typical in people with low self-esteem. You might want to check this out: How I improved my self-esteem?
Also, this will help: People Pleasing.
You do not stand up for yourself
You do not raise concerns even if your needs are not being met in a relationship.
- You let people disrespect you instead of confronting them about it,
- You do not express your need for attention,
- You adjust your expectations in love as per your partner’s availability,
- You put effort into relationships even if the other person is not putting in the same effort.
It is a sign of setting unhealthy boundaries if you find it hard to assert your needs in relationships. Boundaries create a space for you in the relationship where your needs are met, and you do not have to compromise on your values and beliefs. A healthy relationship is one where both people have that safe space for themselves.
You find it hard to disagree
The inability to disagree stems from low self-esteem. Because you fear conflict, you find it safer to agree with people instead of speaking up for what you believe and feel is right.
It is dangerous because you put yourself in situations and relationships that do not align with who you are. From a long-term perspective, only two things happen:
- You are always trying to fit in, never feel satisfied, and therefore constantly frustrated. This frustration affects other areas of your life as well.
- The situation of the relationship becomes toxic for you. Refer to this: Signs of a Toxic Relationship
Falling for someone too soon
Choosing a life partner is one of the most important decisions you will ever make in your life.
Finding a compatible partner and building a healthy relationship takes time. If you fall for someone too soon without knowing them well, it is a sign of you being unable to set healthy boundaries. When you meet someone new, you might feel a phony sensation of immediate connection and base your decision on this temporary initial attraction. This hurts you in the long term when the honeymoon phase gets over, and issues begin to surface in the relationship.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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