
You do not say no
Have you ever firmly smiled your way through an agreement while secretly dying of embarrassment?
So there’s the first indication that you are giving too much. You have the right to refuse without requiring to explain something. When you choose to explain, it must be out of conscious choice rather than feeling a need to do it mandatorily. Let me repeat that: you have the right to refuse. Nobody, not your partner, has a right to your time or effort.
I understand that it can be challenging for some people to say no. However, try not to adopt it as your new favorite word. Instead, have the ability to be selective about what you accept. Keep your sentences brief, courteous, and firm.
You over apologize
Yes, sometimes you’re to blame. Who doesn’t?
However, if you find yourself apologizing after each argument, it may be time to examine your relationship more closely. In actuality, you’re doing more harm than good to yourself and the relationship by not upsetting the apple cart.
In the end, you ignore your feelings when trying to avoid conflict. More significantly, you’re letting your spouse off the hook without making them answer for their deeds.
This kind of conduct must cease. Resolving differences must be a shared effort in every happy partnership. Your partner also has a responsibility in addition to your own.
You do not prioritize your needs
Relationships do require compromises. But, if you have a habit of prioritizing other people before yourself, it is a clear sign that you are giving too much.
Giving too much will make you miserable in the long run, especially if they are not acknowledged.
I’m telling you, these things pile up. According to research, people tend to get more depressed the more they repress their needs in a relationship.
You feel resentful
Only some relationships will be perfectly balanced. That is not an issue.
However, it’s an indication that you are doing it for the wrong reasons if you’re giving so much that it makes you resent your partner.
Resentment is like anger; you hold it within you thinking the other person will die, but only you die. Resentment can be directed at your partner for the unfairness of the circumstance and at your own self for sacrificing what you love or need.
In either case, your long-term relationship will be at risk. Make sure that you do not reach that point.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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