Signs You Are Ready for a Relationship

You know who you are

When you know who you are, you can clearly define your boundaries and stand up for them. This sets the foundation for a long-term healthy relationship because you do not become a people pleaser and therefore, save yourself from pent up emotions that will come out sooner or later in ugly forms.

Moreover, having an awareness of who you enable you to pick partners more smartly. A) you know who will be a good fit for you and therefore, rule out options that do not attract you from the outset and b) you do not lose yourself in relationships. This also makes you capable to build a space in your relationships where both sides can stay connected to the unique parts of themselves, without feeling that that would harm the relationship.

You are not scared to be alone

The purpose of relationships is to not make you happy but to rather help you grow.

When you enter into a relationship based on the premise that it is an antidote to loneliness, you over-depend on it and become insecure in the process.

Healthy relationships happen when two people who have satisfying lives decide to share a part of it with each other.

So, before you decide to get out there and find a partner for yourself, ask why you want to. Is it because you want the experience of being in love or is it because you believe that being alone is too scary?

Your self-worth is not dependent on a relationship

When you have low self-esteem, you tend to become a people pleaser and there’s only one long-term outcome of that behavior: Resentment.

To have a healthy relationship with someone, you must be confident that you deserve love, and not being able to find a partner does not mean that there is something wrong with you.

A harsh reality check? Look, if you constantly fail at relationships, then definitely you must analyze your behaviors and talk to a therapist to identify if you have patterns that are destructive to a healthy relationship BUT the point that I am trying to make here in an article is that being or not being in a relationship must not give you your sense of importance.

Your self-worth must come from within, from an awareness of who you are.

You are aware that your partner is just one of many

There is a lie that has been floating around for ages and that is the lie of soulmates. You believe that there is one perfect person out there for you and when the universe will conspire, you will meet them. This belief system has two problems:

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You keep waiting and do not act: When you believe that your relationship depends on destiny, you do not put in the work required to make yourself ready for a healthy relationship and go out there and meet people. You just sit down waiting for the magic to happen.
You destroy the relationship out of fear: When you believe that there is only one person for you out there, you become too attached to them and always operate with a fear of losing them. This underlying makes you anxious and the chances are that you overanalyze everything in the relationship. If your partner does not answer your call or reply on time, your mind jumps to a thousand conclusions and you might even get angry and lash out at them. In the long-term, the other person will run away from you because truth be told, who wants such psychotic behavior from their partner?

Being in a healthy relationship requires you to have the perspective that there are many perfect matches for you out there. Trust me, force yourself to believe in it so that you do not settle for less than you deserve and can always gather up the courage to walk away from relationships where your needs are not being met and your boundaries are not being respected.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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