Selfish people in relationships never consider themselves in the wrong. They put blame on their partner and think they’re always right. Your partner never apologizes, even when they are wrong, is a sign of a selfish person, says psychologist Howard Markman, PhD, co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver. If you spot any of these four signs you may be in an unhealthy relationship with a selfish partner and need to get out now. Do any of these sound like you?
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Your Partner Never Takes Blame
When your partner makes a mistake, he or she should take responsibility for it. If your partner never takes blame, you may be in a selfish relationship. Your partner never apologizes, even when they are wrong. This is one of the signs of someone who has an inflated sense of self. The more important you become to them, the more likely this sign will show up.
The signs of a selfish woman will differ from those of a selfish man because their motivations can vary. Signs that might indicate that your partner is just bad at handling emotions include being unable to control themselves during arguments or not listening when you talk about what’s bothering you.
It’s natural for people in relationships to get frustrated with each other from time to time, but if these signs don’t go away as time goes on then there’s likely something deeper going on here- like narcissism!
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Your Partner Is Constantly Jealous
It’s no secret that jealousy is considered a sign of insecurity, but it can also be a sign of selfishness. Some people are constantly jealous because they crave attention or want their partner to stay exclusively with them. Constantly feeling like your partner needs more affection or time from you, even when you know you’ve been giving them what they need for days, is a sign of someone who’s selfish. They may have low self-esteem or believe themselves unworthy. They may feel so insecure about their relationship with you that they don’t think the partnership will last without constant reassurance. They may convince you to distance yourself from close friends and family in order to reassure themselves that you are theirs. Jealously like this is likey a sign of selfishness.
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Your Partner Only Does Things That Benefit Them.
Signs of a selfish partner include doing things that only benefit themselves. While this may seem like an easy fix, it can be difficult to put an end to these self-serving behaviors. The best way is by being assertive. You need to start by telling the person how their behavior makes you feel, then letting them know what consequences you will give if they continue. Your partner should change their behavior or risk losing your love and respect. Don’t let your partner get away with selfishness anymore.
However, there are some instances when you have to take responsibility for how your actions affect others as well.
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Your Partner Is Emotionally Abusive
It takes two people for an abusive relationship, but you can stop it. If your partner is emotionally abusive, they use words or actions that are designed to make you feel bad about yourself. They may say things like, You’ll never be able to do anything right, or I don’t know why I bother with you. They might put you down so much that you begin to believe them. Emotionally abusive people are always angry because their partners will never measure up in their eyes. They may lash out at their loved ones with verbal abuse or even physical abuse over small things they perceive as wrong or hurting them. To protect yourself from this type of abuse, find a way to remove the power from your abuser. Talk back to them by saying something such as I’m not going to let you talk to me that way. Find support by talking about the abuse with other friends who have been through similar situations. If necessary, find help by contacting a therapist or domestic violence hotline near you. Emotional abuse is a sign of a selfish partner.
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Your Partner Is Physically Abusive
Some of the signs of a selfish person may include being physically abusive. If your partner has been physically violent with you, this is an indication that they don’t care about your needs or what’s best for you. They might not be willing to work on the relationship, which can lead to long-term physical or mental harm.
The signs of physical abuse are hitting, kicking, pushing, and throwing things. Physically locking you in the house might also be an attempt to control what you do and who you see. Despite saying they love you and do it for your safety, it is not true. You deserve to be treated better than this.
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Your Partner Is Financially Abusive
One of the signs you are in a selfish relationship is if your partner is financially abusive. They might make all the decisions about money, such as what bills to pay and how much to spend on groceries. Or they might keep you in the dark about their finances, which can lead you into financial hardship. You may not have access to bank accounts or credit cards. They may pressure you into making poor investments.
If your partner is showing signs of being financially abusive, they need professional help that only mental health professionals can provide — but it’s not easy for people who are living with an abuser to get out because they may lack self-esteem, feel like they don’t deserve better, or be scared their partner will retaliate if they leave them.
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Your Partner Manipulates or Controls You
If you feel like your partner manipulates or controls you, this is a sign that they are selfish. This can include telling you who you can and cannot be friends with or making decisions for you without asking what you think. It’s important to take control of your own life and not let others make all the choices. Being aware of how you want things done will make it easier to create boundaries.
If your partner has continually found ways around the boundaries you set or continued manipulating you or using some kind of power against you, it might be time to have a talk about what is wrong and explore some different options together.
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Your Partner Is Unfaithful
If your partner cheats on you, that’s not only an emotionally traumatic experience for you but it can also signal that there are other problems in the relationship. This could be as simple as feeling undervalued or misunderstood. It could also be that they don’t feel respected. As painful as it is to end an unfaithful relationship, it’s better than staying trapped with someone who doesn’t value you. The person might have no problem cheating because it benefits them more than hurting their partner. There is nothing but a complete disregard for you and a self-centered desire for them in this behavior.
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What to Do If You’re in a Selfish Relationship
If you’re in a relationship with a selfish person, you know it. The signs of a selfish person can be hard to overlook, but if you notice them in yourself or your partner, it’s important to recognize them for what they are: signs that you have a problem in your relationship.
One sign is that the person never apologizes when they’re wrong. Saying sorry is one of the most basic forms of an apology, so if your partner never says sorry when they’re wrong, they might be too proud to admit their mistakes.
Selfish people will hurt others even if it means hurting themselves first. People who are selfish will do anything for themselves, even if it means harming others. In the end, they don’t care who gets hurt as long as they get their way. They won’t even make time for you unless it is beneficial to them.
Whenever things aren’t going well, they’ll blame you.
Being assertive in this situation and being firm about what you need from your partner is the first step. You then watch them closely for a while to see if they start acting any differently. People who are selfish rarely change, and if they were willing to change, it would take a long time. in the end, you need to decide if you are going to wait for that change to occur when you see the willingness or if you need to pack up and look for love elsewhere.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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