Silent Triggers for Divorce

The institution of marriage is a significant partnership meant to serve as a foundation for building a life together between a loving couple. Most importantly, marriage is a celebration of a beautiful unity, where two souls knit together their paths in life, walking the journey of life with shared dreams and aspirations. However, it is disheartening to note that many couples struggle to maintain the bond of their relationship, leading to the unfortunate reality of divorce. Various elements contribute to the decline of this God-ordered institution of marriage. Here are some silent factors to consider.

Unchecked pride

Pride is an emotional state of feeling satisfied with oneself. Accordingly, pride is a belief that one is superior or more important than the other spouse. It is also related to one’s social status and misguided self-awareness. In the context of marriage, pride can manifest in the form of being convinced that one’s way is always the best, regardless of how it may affect the other partner. If someone is too proud, they may only think of themselves in a relationship. They might only turn to their partner when it’s convenient for them. However, the most damaging aspect of pride in a marriage is that it can cause partners to become emotionally isolated from each other, leading to a sense of loneliness and disconnection. That relationship is bound to fail eventually.

One-sided perspective

The Oxford Dictionary defines perspective as a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; in essence, it is simply a point of view. Marriage is a union of two individuals with distinct perspectives and experiences. It is essential to acknowledge that each partner brings something unique to the table. Therefore, understanding your partner’s point of view is crucial to building a strong and healthy relationship. Prioritizing the act of listening and comprehending your spouse’s perspective before being understood is a powerful tool that can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts in your marriage. By doing so, you create an environment of trust and mutual respect, which is essential for a lasting and fulfilling marriage. If your marriage is to be saved from failing, you will have to consider your spouse’s perspective and God’s perspective.

Misaligned purpose

A purpose is a planned or desired result, objective, aspiration, or reason for something to exist or occur, produced, used, etc. In numerous instances, marriage has faltered because individuals lack insight or comprehension of the intended aim of marriage as envisioned by its creator. Marriage encompasses more than just physical closeness; it holds greater significance than simply being in each other’s company. Having a godly understanding of the original intent of marriage is important for a successful relationship. Instead of focusing on materialistic aspects only, viewing marriage as a spiritual journey is also key. Following God’s design and purpose for marriage should inspire couples to grow in godly qualities. Marriage should exemplify the unconditional love of the supreme God.

Unhealed past

Our experiences continue to affect us in our daily lives, influencing how we navigate situations and how we respond emotionally to others. This phenomenon also plays out in marriage relationships, where individuals may unconsciously repeat patterns of behavior from past relationships in an attempt to address unresolved issues. Known as repetition compulsion in psychology, this pattern involves seeking out situations or people similar to those that caused emotional harm in the past, in an attempt to resolve or heal from past trauma. If this is not quickly identified, that marriage will struggle and possibly fail. Deal with your past baggage, be it exes, or pain, decisively. Seek help to avoid failing in your current marriage.

Unending poverty

A persistent lack of essential resources to sustain a family can ultimately strain a relationship. For instance, undiscussed debt that leads to a lack of a home is a common cause of broken relationships. It is important to recognize the different forms of poverty, too. There are six types, which include absolute, relative, situational, generational, urban, and rural poverty. It is vital for a couple to determine the specific type of poverty they are dealing with and seek to overcome it. Additionally, there is a distinct mindset and spirit associated with poverty. Failure to deal with the scarcity of resources at whatever level can fail a marriage finally.

Habitual passiveness

Passivity, which is the characteristic of not taking action; and a lack of motivation. A numbness and lack of excitement or curiosity about things in general can lead to a failure in marriage. Men are expected to demonstrate productivity, and leadership abilities, take decisive action, and provide solutions when it is required of them. A woman likewise is expected to engage and step up based on her personality and abilities toward a common goal as a partner. Dealing with a passive partner in a marriage can put a strain on a relationship. This passiveness can be in bed, communication, parenting planning, etc. Marriage is a team effort, therefore do your part to avoid failure of that relationship.

Undermined processes

A couple will go through different forms of processes in their lifetime, which could include, career change, health issues, psychological, loss, family relations, conflict, etc. How these various processes are handled can either make or break a marriage. Ignoring the healing process of an individual, unawareness of the effective communication processes, failing to adhere to cultural processes, and downplaying the importance of a spiritual process in getting married. All these can lead to a failed marriage eventually.

Misguided partnership

Marriage is a partnership. In a marriage collaboration, both partners must have an equal say in all decisions and feel like they can influence each other. This relationship equality enhances respect, and teamwork, and ultimately benefits the partnership. To overlook this aspect of a marriage is a lack of wisdom. Working as partners creates a sense of closeness between spouses, enhancing the overall strength and happiness of their marriage. When spouses feel good about themselves and their relationship, they are more inclined to communicate openly and share their emotions. This deepened emotional connection often increases physical intimacy, a key component of a successful marriage. Couples who maintain a mutual partnership tend to experience higher stability, lower conflict, reduced dependency, and decreased resentment within their relationship. According to research, husbands who are open to their wives’ influence are significantly less likely to face divorce or unhappiness in their marriage. You can transform your marriage into a beacon of hope rather than a mere failed statistic; let it inspire others to embrace the journey of marriage.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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