Simping: 3 Quick Ways for Men to Understand What It Means and How to Stop

We live in a day and age where there is a term for almost anything. It can get more complicated when you rifle through the terms used in dating and relationships.

While it is essential to learn these terms to be socially conscious, it can be equally important to understand the words as they apply to you.

So let’s dive into the term of the day; simping.

The word might not be in the dictionary, but it’s essential to understand if you are a man in the modern dating market.

So what does the term simping mean?

Simply defined, a man that will do anything for the attention and admiration of a woman he is pursuing.

It is not that simple to understand.

Of course, if you are dating somebody and your relationship is getting serious, there are things you should do to go above and beyond to show someone you care.

While it is still possible to be a simp while you’re in a relationship, let’s focus on what it means while you are in the dating phase and how you can avoid falling into the trap.

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As you read, take note. It is NOT an attack on women. It’s an indictment on men who need to level up and understand the game.

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Free resources

Imagine this scenario.

You’re at the supermarket, and it is a free sample day. You walk around from cart to cart, collecting free samples, until you are full. You have little to no intention of buying any of the items, and you can walk away without spending a dime.

The same applies to the dating market. Is every woman using you to milk you for resources? No. Some do. Also, subconsciously others do as well.

It makes complete sense.

If a woman does not have to put her time and energy into you but still receives what she wants, why would she not take advantage of it? Remember the free samples analogy. You’re giving it away for free.

You are undervaluing yourself if you are a man who will go out of his way to do anything for a woman’s time and attention.

On top of that, there is a man who gets her attention without doing what you are doing. It is the harsh truth you need to hear.

It is not an attack on women; it makes complete sense.

I know what some of you are thinking; “if I don’t do these things, then she will not like me.” Exactly, she doesn’t like you. She has learned to like what you can do for her.

Retain your value and have expectations in return for what you provide. That does not mean you are entitled to anything from a woman. It means you stand true to what you want in pursuit.

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Walk before you crawl

Have you ever liked a girl so much that it made it difficult to walk away when things did not feel right or you were not being treated well?

Something in your mind is telling you not to give up and give it another chance.

That thing is your simp mentality taking over.

If there is someone you like so much that you cannot walk away when your value is not respected, then you are already losing the battle.

You need to understand the ability to walk away at any moment, or you will end up crawling after her.

I am not here to mince words; you need to hear this.

It is the same thought as the free samples; if a woman has little to no fear of you having the power to walk away, she will subconsciously treat you like something she has zero fear of losing.

Have you ever gotten the; “sorry, I was busy and forgot to text you back?” No, she didn’t.

Have you ever gotten the; “sorry, something came up?” And never received a time to reschedule? The only thing that came up was an opportunity she valued more than you.

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The good news

Similar to your ability to change your life at any moment, you can stop being a simp anytime too.

That change won’t happen overnight.

You have to become unforgiving about how true to yourself that you are.

You have to have a zero-tolerance rule for drama and disrespect.

Once you can shape your path, you will never have another concern about who is on that journey with you.

You can not worry about what you can do for a woman, but keep in mind what she is doing for you.

Do you feel like she is equally as interested in learning about you as you are in her? Does she reach out to communicate and pursue you? Does she value your time and follow through with her word? If the answer is no, cut it off that second and don’t look back.

What if I don’t meet another girl? That is the problem; you are so focused on one person you don’t even see the opportunities you are missing out on by not moving forward.

Don’t extend yourself to someone who is not doing the same for you.

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Guess what? I am not writing this article because I am a lifelong pro who never made a mistake in the dating game.

I’ve had moments of being a simp too. I thought if I did everything I could to make someone happy, it was a safeguard against losing that person.

The exact opposite was true. I simp-ed my way into a two-year relationship. I got treated like a simp in that relationship. That relationship is over!

I decided I was never going to make that mistake again.

I meet girls on dating apps, in person, or through friends, and one thought reigns true. As soon as it doesn’t feel right, walk away. It doesn’t matter how pretty she is or how well conversations went. As soon as it feels sour, leave.

I would advise any woman to do the same if that was the point of this article.

There are too many opportunities out here to be stuck on one person.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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