Situationship: How to Cope When Commitment is Unclear

What Is a Situationship?

Situationships can be defined as ‘romantic relationships’ with no clarity or label. They might include affection, sexual behaviors, and spending time together but also involve low levels of commitment, a situationship is essentially a relationship without any commitment

How do you know whether your relationship could be defined as a situationship? Here are a few characteristics to look for

Undefined relationship. You and your partner may not have had the “What are we?” conversation to define the relationship, set expectations, and boundaries .
NO consistency. A lack of consistency is a major sign that you’re in a situationship , for instance, you may not know when you’ll see them next, how long they’ll take to respond to a text, or whether they’ll make the effort to reach out.
No future plans . People in a relationship often plan for the future in some capacity, whether it’s going to an event a few months down the road or longer-term plans to settle down and have a family. In a situationship, there’s typically no discussion of the future.
Not much follow-up. You and your partner may be in “relationship mode” in person but switch back to “casual mode” when apart, You may also notice that they don’t take a lot of initiative or follow up with you on conversations or plans.

Impact on Mental Health of Being in a Situationship

In some cases, one person might be content with the casual relationship type of set-up, while the other is hoping that it turns into something more.

The mental health impact can be greater for the person wanting more as they may begin to connect their sense of self-worth with gaining the approval of the other person.

What to Do If You’re in a Situationship

Be honest about your feelings: It’s important to be honest with yourself and to be clear about your intentions for the relationship.

Be clear on what you want: If you’re interested in a more serious relationship, consider stating how you feel about the person and asking for what you want. Either they feel the same and want to pursue a more serious relationship with you, or they don’t and you can move on and find someone who does value you. It’s always better to have an answer because it enables you to move forward.

Be straight forward: If you do want something more from the other person than a casual relationship, taking a passive approach may be more harmful than you realize. Spending time without making your intentions or needs known perpetuates the illusion that you could still have a chance but, in reality, it does little to actually change your situation.

Communicate: it is important to communicate that effectively to your partner. Communicate your needs, boundaries, and expectations from the beginning to prevent hurt feelings in the future

Takeaways

A situationship is a casual, undefined, commitment-free relationship.

a situationship can be a difficult place to be if you’re looking for a committed relationship. The lack of stability and consistency can be stressful and you may find yourself disappointed if you start to develop expectations.

Either way, it’s a good idea to communicate with your partner. Let them know what you want, so you can check whether you’re both on the same page.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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