I’m a man in his early 50″s, and for the early part of my existence in this world, I hate to admit I was shallow when it came to the opposite sex. Attraction to women wasn’t the problem, the problem was that attraction was only skin-deep.
Then if I wanted to date a woman seriously, the metrics I chose to use started with shallow measures. What’s more, is that if the character wasn’t correct in my chosen love, I felt I could change them. Just give me my skin-deep traits and the rest will work itself out. Well, I’m here to tell you that is backwards thinking.
Love of God and character is where it’s at, my friends. That’s the woman you want to pursue. I know your eyes and your flesh tell you otherwise but think in the long term. Character is far more important than looks. Beauty fades. What if you’re in a car accident and need someone to help you out, beauty can’t help with that. Short skirts can’t help you there. Don’t get me wrong you want to be attracted to your partner but don’t give that attraction the most weight in your decision to make that person your spouse.
Quote from my upcoming book for men in this digital age of dating
“I was a guy who always looked at the outside appearance of a woman. I gave it the most weight in evaluating that person for a potential relationship. The lady had to have a specific skin tone, height and the right hair length. These were very shallow criteria, as you can discern. My old views were that if I could find a woman whose looks attracted me, I could work to change the inside stuff I didn’t like. Another perspective I had was sex had to be off the charts; the truth is we shouldn’t be having sex before marriage. I cringe as I recall those old views now. My actions came from the lust of the eyes and flesh. People in relationships on this level only use each other.”
IN THE Upcoming book “The Devoted Man”
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Derrick McQueen
Blogging about wisdom for everyday life
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Originally published at https://wisdomsey.com on May 4, 2022.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com
