Sobriety Helped Me Wake the Hell Up Politically

I grew up in a tiny village south of Surrey, England. Where the people are inextricably racist, the pubs are dirty and the food is fatty. Politics were not a topic of interest. That was a subject for the nerds and the losers. Politics is often a confusing subject, regardless of your upbringing. But when you grow up surrounded by drug dealers, criminals and school dropouts. There’s no chance of being politically intrigued. I was only interested in getting high and getting fucked.

Hearing homophobic and racist insults and ‘jokes’ were a standard part of my daily life. So common that I even engaged in a few derogatory slurs wrapped up as jokes. I thought it was “ok” as my best friend at the time was black. I witnessed his struggles from living in a predominantly white town. Yet still found the time to make disgusting jokes in between my drinks.

Now it’s clear that I was a joke.

I was living in an echo chamber of addiction and racism. Subconsciously I was unhappy and depressed, I knew I didn’t belong with these people. I self-medicating to escape via sex, drugs and drum and bass.

I didn’t care about the next day, so why the hell would I care about politics?

A change in tides

At 25 I pulled myself from drunken racist England to sunny New Zealand. I was still unplugged from reality, surrounded by drunks. Yet I was in a less toxic environment. There was no more crime and far fewer drugs. I became a happy drunk with more intellectually curious friends. This forced me to learn a lot about myself.

Then the pandemic came. My drinking habits spiralled out of control, as did my drug consumption. Most days were “enjoyed” in the sun drinking beers and snorting ketamine. I spiralled into a self-destructive state of depression. Suicidal thoughts engulfed my mind.

I needed to escape. I had to make a choice, suicide or sobriety.

My political awakening

Whilst embarking on my sober journey I got heavily involved in politics and world events. I watched the news and read hundreds of articles and books. Podcasts became part of my daily information diet. My head was no longer clouded by hangovers. Instead, the once empty space had become politically aware.

My sobriety and political awakening had become inextricably linked.

After one year of sobriety, my previously ignorant worldview began to fade. I didn’t plan on waking up politically. I intended to pull myself out of my horrible self-destructive lifestyle. I no longer wanted to drink away the pain of life. I wanted to stop hiding behind alcohol and see a better version of myself. However, my political interest was a much-welcomed side effect of sobriety.

I can now see all my wrongdoings from 15 years of substance abuse and ignorance. I have acknowledged the racist bigotry that becomes engrained in one’s mind from living in an isolated community. As I continue to travel the world and experience different cultures, I not only learn more about myself. I learn that politics are engrained in society. There is no escape, only ignorance. I realise we need to have more hard conversations about rights, laws, and of course substance abuse.

Sobriety taught me about my privilege as a white person.

It taught me to wake the fuck up and get involved in the worlds issues.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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