A man asks Eli and Josie to help him figure out what he’s supposed to do with a woman’s breasts during sex.
Originally appeared at She Said He Said
Dear Sexes: Help out here please… what can a guy do with breasts when things get hot and heavy?
She Said: Depends upon what you’re going for here. Is this “playing” for your pleasure or hers? It’s cool if it’s for yours, that’s what sex is about: the sharing of bodies for mutual pleasure. As long as you’re not bugging her, of course.
For her: It’s completely different for every woman. Try different tactics (He Said offers some good tips, below) and see what makes her moan, squeal, giggle, bite her lip or scream (in a good way, of course!). When you get the good reaction, stick with that for a bit, then change it up and see what happens. You’ll develop a different playlist, so to speak, for any girl you’re with in the future, but you should remember what the woman you’re with now prefers.
Some very basic starters: kissing, sucking, licking, gentle touch, pinching and light biting. Start gentle, move to more firm as she gets more turned on and you’re deeper into the action. Tell her you’d love to see her touch her own breasts (then watch and learn). Ask what she’s digging, tell her to let you know if anything you do during sex isn’t her favorite.
And yes, there are a few women who aren’t into having their breasts played with. Respect that.
He Said: Bring your imagination to the party, and you can do anything!!! Okay, in truth, you can’t quite do anything. Things depend on the woman, the breasts, their sensitivity, etc… And of course, you can’t take the breasts with you – they belong to the woman they’re already on.
Be adventurous. Here are some hints: vary the pressure of your touch, the speed of your touch, and what you’re touching the breasts with. Try props. Try anything! Hopefully you can do some breast activities that are enjoyable for you AND your partner. Some women like a lot of breast attention, some don’t. Some women’s breasts (and nipples) are extremely sensitive and some are not.
When all else fails, or maybe from the very beginning, you can always talk to your girl, and ask her what she likes (and perhaps what she doesn’t like). If talking about it beforehand ruins the fun, then ask your lady while you’re going at it, in your best bedroom voice of course. When used and shared correctly, breasts are fun for everyone. Explore and enjoy!
Got a question for Eli and Josie? Ask it here!
Image of two oranges courtesy of Shutterstock.
Hey, let’s not forget that MEN have nipples too and many of us really get off on having them played with.
One thing to keep in mind is that breasts are affected by monthly hormonal cycles so what felt great to her last week may be uncomfortable or painful this week. Usually I LOVE it when my BF plays with my nipples but a few days before my period, my nipples get very painful. At other times, for no particular reason I can tell, my nipples feel extremely ticklish and having them stimulated gives me an unpleasant sensation. So don’t assume she’s crazy if she adores it one night and tells you to leave them alone the following night. 🙂
I’d say the best thing to do would be to ask her what she likes done to her breasts. I’d even suggest the best place to have this conversation is when you aren’t about to have sex, and when you’re not in a bedroom or any other sexual environment. Sometimes the best place and time to have a conversation about sex is when no one’s got their brain clouded by emotions and what-not. Plus then you’ll know, so that you don’t end up stopping in the middle of sex ask her to explain what she likes, exactly. Though, of course,… Read more »
If you don’t know what to do with them, give them to me. I’m good at figuring out how things work.