Like every child, as my daughter gets older the expectations and responsibilities placed on her increase. Like every parent I don’t always get that balance correct but in the course of my nagging and just generally talking about life with her I find myself often using the phrase “you’re getting to that age now…”
I think we all have them, don’t we? Certain words strung together that just annoy us. I found the idea interesting enough that I starting thinking about the phrases that I come across, mostly on social media, that drive me insane. If you use these don’t take it personally, I’m sure my kid isn’t the only one that rolls her eyes at some of my own sayings.
“READ THAT AGAIN.” Especially if it’s in all caps. This is when somebody has something to say that they feel is so important, so profound, that you really need to take the time and make sure that their words are really sinking in. It’s usually at the end of some sort of motivational meme, sometimes even ones that really do have good advice, but I’ve also had somebody end a text message this way. Maybe their point would have made more sense if I had but I did not go back and read anything again. If I notice this at the end of whatever you are saying I might not even read it once. I’m petty like that.
“DO YOU GET IT NOW????” This is when somebody is presenting evidence that they believe proves their theory, often a theory about how the government and media are lying to you in an attempt to control you. I’m certainly not suggesting that neither the government or the media are misleading us about many things but I don’t think there is a secret cabal that wants to microchip us and control our every move. I think its more likely that they actually could give two shits about what we do as long as they get enough votes to keep collecting that lobbyist money and the media just wants our eyeballs and clicks to sell to advertisers. If the only “news” you consume is partisan, incendiary nonsense you can’t complain when that becomes all that is offered. The answer is no, I still don’t understand what the hell you are talking about.
“GET WOKE, GO BROKE.” At this point, I’m just stick to death of the word “woke”. It started off as a word meaning “alert to racial prejudice and discrimination”, was expanded to include other social issues such as LGBTQ rights and now just seems to be a slur thrown at anything that isn’t catered to straight, white males or any company that even hints at supporting such radical concepts as trying to treat all of their employees and customers in an equal manner or think of them as anything more than a means to increased profit. The pushback against political correctness has been going on for a while but now there is a cheeky little slogan to sneer along with it. It’s dumb and it seems like who is “woke” keeps changing and expanding. I need a cheat sheet to remember who is on the outs, mainly because chances are good that’s who’s side I’m going to be on.
There are plenty others, enough that I actually briefly considered that I may just be a grumpy old man. I hate “play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” Yes, sometimes people deserve it when bad things happen to them but maybe we shouldn’t always think that we know when that is or take pleasure in it.
I don’t like being told that “history is not ours to change or destroy.” I have no interest in changing history but think that maybe we haven’t always been taught it all that accurately or with the full story. I don’t learn a lot from statues or from schools and military bases that are named after the leaders of a failed attempt at succession a hundred and fifty odd years ago but do think it’s very important that we remember what those people and others of the time actually did. That includes people that we have been taught to hold in higher regard than maybe we should. Also, Columbus was an asshole and he shouldn’t have a holiday.
I hate how arrogant and self righteous everyone seems to be, even as I know that there are people lining up to call me out on the hypocrisy of that statement and that more than one person probably just spit out their coffee. I get it.
I guess I’m just getting to that age now.
—
Previously Published on thirstydaddy.com
—
Shutterstock image
