While our son is not perfect from time to time, he encourages me.
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I’ve been in the middle of a book launch, an online summit, and a ton of radio and podcast interviews lately. Not to mention the regular writing and keeping fresh content flowing on my social media platforms. It has been super busy! Last night, I had to make the hard decision of not going to our 10-year old son’s clubs. We missed last week due to snow and one of the kids being sick, so our 10-year old, Jackson, was really excited to go.
I explained to him that right now is a very busy and important time for me with work.
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But, I had to break the bad news to him; I wouldn’t be able to take him to the club. I’m one of the leaders for his age group in the club, so our Wednesdays are pretty fun hanging with the other dads, playing dodgeball, learning new Bible verses (it’s a Bible club called Awana). I explained to him that right now is a very busy and important time for me with work and it will have a major impact on us financially to pull away from work.
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His response really got me.
He looked at me with his big brown eyes, smiled, nodded his head, and said: “It’s okay.” Then he went back to his room, to put his stuff up, and changed his clothes since we weren’t going anywhere. But what he said next is what got to me.
I was in the kitchen doing something at the sink when he walked in and said something. I couldn’t hear him due to the water running in the sink, so I turned it off and asked him to repeat it. He said…
“Thanks for making money for our family, Dad.”
When he first spoke, I wasn’t sure what he said, and truthfully I thought I was going to have to do some explaining to him. But nope, instead of him being frustrated, or not being satisfied with my original reason we weren’t going he was grateful. Nobody prompted him to say anything (my wife was in the kitchen with me). He probably had no idea how much I needed to hear something like this at the particular time. And he didn’t have any ulterior motives. He just wanted to let me know in his own way he understands and appreciates what I do for our family and the sacrifice it takes.
This day my work was appreciated.
Every man wants to have their work validated. It feels good to get a promotion at work. It feels good to be recognized in the community or publicly for your contribution. But there is another level when the appreciation comes from your family, your child for whom you do the work for. I enjoy my work, but one of the biggest reasons I work is to provide for my family.
For a five-year-old (his age at the time) that could have been intimidating.
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Sometimes it goes unnoticed. But this particular day it didn’t. The thing is he regularly does stuff like this. My wife and I often say to him “we have no idea how such a big heart is stuffed into such a small body.” It makes me wonder how I ended up with a son like him.
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5 Character Traits Dads Hope Their Kids Have
It had me thinking what are the key character traits dads hope their kids have. I’ve put together a list of five of them.
- Boldness. I remember several years ago one of the staff members at our kids’ old pediatric dentist asking Jackson what he got from Santa. Jackson explained that Santa was not real (we always taught our kids that we bought their gifts, not Santa). As Jackson responded, the guy shot right back that Santa was real, almost to the point of raising his voice. For a five-year-old (his age at the time) that could have been intimidating, but Jackson stood by his belief and didn’t waver. He also did it in a respectful way (see my next point)
- Respectful. While the staff member continued to try to convince Jackson that Santa was real and was responsible for his gifts, Jackson never wavered, and although the guy behind the counter was pretty aggressive in his argument, Jackson was still respectful. He knew what he knew, yet at the same time, he responded with respect.
- Selfless. We say his heart is so big because he constantly gives of himself. He’ll let his little brother go first. He’ll save his money to buy gifts for other people. He literally saved most of his birthday money this past November to purchase gifts for his brother, sister, his mom and me, and his grandparents.
- Fight. He’s the smallest kid on his basketball team. He’s usually the smallest kid on the court. But each and every game parents come up to him, and to me, talking about how “scrappy” he is. He doesn’t back down to anybody. If there is a loose ball, he’s diving. If there is a tie up leading to a jump ball, the refs almost have to pry his hands from the ball. He attacks challenges head on and doesn’t back down for anything.
- Truthful. Jackson is like our truth serum. Even when he’s done wrong, he will tell what happened. It’s a great assurance to us that we can get the truth even in a bad situation. That’s a huge factor that builds trust for us in our kids. It brings a whole new set of challenges when we have to search and prod and dig for the truth.
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While our son is not perfect from time to time, he encourages me like he did in the midst of my cancelation. In a video game, social media, get what I want on demand society today it’s refreshing to focus on some great character traits in our kids. And if they aren’t present then there is no better time than now to develop them.
What character traits do you love to see in your kids?
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Photo: Flickr/ Jed Sullivan
Great article. My son is two right now. Sometimes you can’t be sure of the impact you’re having until moments like this.